


Of Overactive Minds and Toxic Thoughts

by blue_noize



Category: South Park
Genre: "Seems gay I'm in", Abuse, All the show stuff happened, Always countries away, Angst, As if someone smudged everything together, Attempted Rape, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bullying, But no one remembers it, Craig doesn't want to exist, Craig pretends not to care, Craig write songs, Craig's parents suck, Drinking, F/M, Fluff, His parents are never home, Kenny is the only one who really remembers, M/M, Neglect, Not for children, Other tags to be added, Self-Harm, Smoking, Smoking of the devil's lettuce, Smol Coffee Bean is older now, Smut, Time travel apparently, Tweek practically runs the coffee shop, Tweek rarely goes to school anymore, Tweek wants to go to school for art, creek - Freeform, haha had to put that in, these boys are so gay, trigger warnings apply
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-03 16:22:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13344951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_noize/pseuds/blue_noize
Summary: It's been seven years since then.  Seven years since the two became friends.  Seven years since that moment when the entire town seemed to just forget everything.  As if someone had taken their memories and just dragged a finger across them with black paint.  Seven long years since Tweek felt accepted.  Seven dark years since Craig could speak his mind.  Seven excruciating years of abuse, neglect, and loneliness.  The only thing either of them remember is that feeling of acceptance and companionship that seems to return when they are near each other.Those scars that they both bear, both physical and emotional, are hard to erase.  Can chance encounters and and one intruding blonde bring these two together, or will their Overactive Minds and Toxic Thoughts rip them apart harder than ever before?





	1. Overactive Mind of a Believer

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Semantically Challenged](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12739188) by [TeamAlphaQ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamAlphaQ/pseuds/TeamAlphaQ). 



> I feel like this took me forever to decide to write. I hope that I can keep this going as I love this pairing and it feels very close to my heart. I suck at summaries and I suck at being a good writer. I'm trash and I'm sorry but I try. Self-indulgence at its finest, I think. 
> 
> Also, I've been reading Semantically Challenged, a fic by TeamAlphaQ, and it kinda inspired this fic. I'm basically taking everything that has happened and making it so that no one can really remember that it existed. All those bonds that were created, romantically, when they were kids has been erased, and the only one to really remember is Kenny, because of the amount of lives he's lived, I think.
> 
> I don't know honestly, I'm just babbling.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, as I do, and Toxic Thoughts by Faith Marie is kinda the anthem for this fic, thus the title. 
> 
> Merci

The bell hooked to the door with flimsy wire chimed loudly, announcing the entrance of another patron of Tweak Bros. Coffee. The noise caused the spastic teenager to jolt out of the chair that he had dragged behind the counter when he had become tired of standing.

“Gah! W-welcome to T-tweak Bros. Coffee,” Tweek Tweak sputtered, trying his best to say the right words. However, his verbal tics wouldn’t subside, and neither would his inability to stay in the same decibel. Tipping his head quickly, his right eye twitching shut, Tweek tried to keep the spiel going. “O-our special t-today is a freshly baked croissant with –gah!-- a medium P-pumpkin Spice Latte!!”

Halfway through the sentence, Tweek had closed his eyes completely, trying to calm down. He could feel the headband he wore to keep his wild blonde tresses out of his eyes slide forward on his forehead. He hated working the counter, but since he was the only one ever working at his parents coffee shop anymore, it always fell on him to do.

“Look at the ADD idiot trying to talk!”

Tweek cringed when he realized who he had been yelling to.

_Seniors…_

Tweek didn’t know their names. He never bothered to learn them, but they were always coming into the shop to bully him, ever since Elementary. More than a few of his scars were caused by them.

“C-can I help you? Gah!” Tweek muttered, a hand sliding into his hair, causing to headband to slip downward even farther to rest against his collarbone. He’d gotten better about pulling at his hair like this, but the Seniors always brought the urge back.

“Nah, dude!” the leader of the gang sneered, leaning against the counter to grab Tweek roughly by the chin. The leader’s dyed green hair was short and spiked, and his eyes were so cruel. Tweek knew what was going to happen next. He didn’t want it to, with all those other people there. “I want you to shut your _fucking ADD mouth_!”

The senior yanked Tweek forward and up, smashing his lips into Tweek’s, the kiss full of fury and disgust, from both parties. The blonde wanted to resist; he tried, but his tics just caused his hand to slip from where it had been holding him up on the counter. This wrenched Tweek from the Senior’s grip and caused Tweek’s chin to hit the counter. His vision was full of stars and his mouth was filled with the taste of blood as he fell to the floor behind the counter.

_I must have bitten my tongue…_

Tweek could vaguely hear the seniors jeering and laughing at him. He felt the cold of the shop floor against his back, through both his trademark green button down as well as the orange knit cardigan that his parents had gifted him last Christmas. He didn’t care that the floor was covered in old coffee stains from when he couldn’t control the spasms and he spilled it on the floor. His head hurt too much to move.

“Couldn’t handle a little kiss! The ADD idiot really is just that! An idiot!”

The bell chimed again, and Tweek heard it slip off its hook and clank against the floor.

They were gone, thank whatever God was out there. But Tweek still didn’t wanna move. He was still lightheaded, and for the moment, his tics were gone. No twitching, no yelling, no paranoia. Maybe that’s all it took. Maybe instead of leaving the scars on his wrist he just needed to hit his head hard enough to almost make him pass out.

Arms spread wide as he lay on the floor, Tweek didn’t move for hours. Patrons came and went, assuming no one was there. Mentally, Tweek was far away, in his “safe place”, far away from the seniors, his non existent parents, his feelings for a certain blue eyed boy that barely knew he existed most of the time.

“Dude, you okay?”

Tweek’s eyes flew open as recognition filled his senses, and his tics returned. He jumped to his feet to come face to face with bored-looking blue eyes and a puff of cigarette smoke in his face.

“Gah! Y-you can’t smoke in here!” Tweek voiced, his pitch juggling. The blonde shook his head quickly and tried to push the owner of the cigarette back away from the counter. He barely registered the teeth of the headband scraping into his neck. “If my p-parents find out they’ll be really mad, and, and, THAT’S WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!”

Tweek looked around quickly, but there was no one in the shop besides him and the owner of those eyes. It helped to relax him a little, but not enough.

“Dude, calm down, it’s just one cigarette. People smoke here all the time,” the blue-eyed boy muttered with his obnoxiously attractive, deep voice. The teen had grown out of the nasaly sound of his voice once he hit puberty, so now his voice was just...smooth.

Tweek shook his head again and kept pushing at Craig Tucker, but the blue-eyed teen was taller and stronger than the blonde. “Gah! Not inside, t-though!” Tweek tried to explain. “P-please just –ngh-- put it out or go outside!!”

Craig shrugged and turned around, allowing the smaller male to steer him around the counter, into the storage room that held the unopened bags of coffee, and out the back door into the alley. The smell of old coffee and moldy paper assaulted their senses.

Once the door closed behind them, it was like switch was flicked, and Tweek remembered that he had his hands on Craig’s back.

“Gah! S-s-sorry!” the blonde all but screeched as he jumped away from Craig, smacking his head against the door. The pain shot through his spine all the way to his feet and he just about fell to his knees, gripping the back of his head.

_I guess my idea won’t work after all, not if it hurts this much!_ _Ngh!! Why do I get like this whenever we touch!!_

“Yo, are you okay?” Craig repeated, squatting down in front of the spastic teen, who was still twitching as much as he always did. Tweek looked up and saw that Craig had put the cigarette between his lips and was looking intensely at him. Craig didn’t have many expressions, but Tweek could still tell the difference between them (considering how often he found himself staring at the blue-eyed boy), and this one was almost a look of concern.

The blonde nodded and leaned back, plopping down onto the ground. His tics hadn’t gone away this time, unfortunately. He wished he could be normal, but that just wasn’t gonna happen. Not with how insane he was, not with how insane this town was. He hated it. He hated the shop, he hated that his parents were never home. He hated that this boy, still as a statue in front of him, could illicit such a panicked response from Tweek. But it had always been like that, ever since they were kids. It was terrifying.

“Ngh!! W-WHY ARE YOU HERE, CRAIG!?” Tweek muttered, although his mutter was more of a screech.

The noirette shrugged again, his expression fading back into his normal blank look.

“Heard the seniors flapping their big mouths. Said they fucked you up good. Wanted to check out for myself. You seem fine, though.” The taller male took a long drag of his cigarette. He made like he was going to blow the smoke in Tweek’s face, but at the last moment, directed it out the corner of his mouth, sending it downward. He had the cigarette between his pointer and middle finger, his arms draped across his knees as he lowered his ass down onto the ground. “Damn, that’s fucking hell on the ankles, standing like that,” Tweek heard Craig mutter, taking another drag and aiming at the sky this time.

Craig’s eyes stayed on the sky for a few moments longer than seemed necessary, considering there wasn’t much to see in the middle of town, especially when the stars wouldn’t be about for another few hours.

_But he’s always loved space...he...he used to carry around that constellation book all the time in Elementary._

“So are you?”

Tweek twitched, hard, when Craig’s softly spoken question broke through his thoughts, scaring him and causing him to let out a strangled whimper.

“Ngh! A-am I what!?” the blonde questioned, his mind taking Craig’s question in all the wrong directions. Maybe Craig wanted to know if he was hell on the ankles? No, that didn’t even make sense. Maybe the noirette thought he was insane and wanted to know if Tweek really was. No, everyone knew that Tweek was insane. With his twitches, and screeches, and how he hit his head against whatever he could find whenever the pressure of his thoughts became too much. Even though he’d gotten a lot better after Elementary, when he had first took a blade to his skin. But Craig couldn’t know that. No one could. The spastic teen pulled at his sleeves self-consciously, trying to hide what couldn’t even be seen.

The blonde’s emerald eyes began to twitch to and fro, from Craig to the sky to the ground and back, when a certain thought rocketed through his brain, causing another round of fear and spasms to wreak havoc on his nerves.

_What if Craig found out the senior kissed me and wants to know if I’m gay!_ _What if he thinks I’m disgusting because he thinks I’m gay!_ _I’m not gay! I’m not Gay! I’M NOT GAY, CRAIG!_

Tweak began rocking back and forth. He was so scared. He didn’t want Craig to hate him. He didn’t want him to think he was disgusting and never talk to him again.

“Dude, calm down.”

The noirette’s soothing voice broke through a single layer of Tweek’s fear, enough to notice that the taller teen had ground out the cigarette and had put a hand on Tweek’s knee. Looking at Craig’s hand, so much bigger and rougher than his own, covered in scars from numerous fights, Tweek felt a little of his blind panic fade. What the hell was happening? Normally just brushing against Craig in the hallways caused the smaller teen to fly into strangled screeches and panicked dashing through the crowds of people. How had Craig managed to calm him so easily. The confusion Tweek felt just felt like SO MUCH PRESSURE in his head.

“Whatever is spinning around in that spastic head of yours, it’s not as bad as you think it is. I asked if you were fine, like I thought you were.”

Tweek blinked slightly out of sync, as if his neurons couldn’t decide how to blink normally.

“I...I think...s-so?” Tweek breathed, afraid to speak too loud in case it broke whatever spell was controlling his fear and panic.

Craig pulled at front of his chullo hat, the one he’d been wearing since he was a kid. That yellow puffball was a little worse for wear, but the rest of the hat seemed to be in good shape. It was almost as if he had barely changed in those seven years. But Tweek knew better. They had all changed. Well, except for Cartman, really.

The noirette was looking down at their shoes, his sneakers almost touching Tweek’s slip-resistant shoes. It may have just been the lighting in the alley, but Tweek could have sworn he saw a slight smile on Craig’s normally stony face.

Suddenly, drawing another twitch and squeal from the blonde, Craig removed his hand from Tweek’s knee and stood up. The taller teen looked up at the sky again, as if all the answers were in that Colorado sky.

“I’m glad you’re okay, dude.”

Tweek blinked twice, shocked. The blonde hadn’t heard anyone say that sentence in years. It hadn’t been since Elementary, when the two used to be close. When Craig actually cared.

Looking down at the spastic blonde out of the corner of his eye. That weird almost smile that may have been a trick of the light was still there. A cold breeze blew through the alley, sending old newspaper and trash fluttering about. It moved Craig’s clothes slightly, and it gave the noirette a kind of otherwordly feeling, one that Tweek hadn’t seen cover Craig in so long.

Tweek couldn’t say anything in response to Craig’s sentence, he was so lost in that feeling. Those icey eyes that were just so blue seemed to freeze him in place, both body and mind.

Then the spell was broken as someone yelled.

“Craig, where the hell are you? We were supposed to leave an hour ago! Get your ass over here!”

The voice caused Tweek so sink farther into the shadow of the building. He didn’t recognize it, but that made it even worse. He could still feel Craig’s eyes on him, but he only looked down at his sleeves as he tried to cover his wrists even more.

“See ya.”

The sound of Craig’s baritone made Tweek twitch to the side again, scaring him. He didn’t expect Craig to acknowledge him again.

The noirette’s footfalls receded down the alley, leaving Tweek to cower in the cold left behind by the lack of Craig’s presence. Tweek recognized this cold...this could only be loneliness. It was a feeling he was used to. He always felt it. His scars were partially caused by it.

The blonde sighed. He was alone again, his thoughts bearing down on him.

And that one thought that only came to him in the middle of the night when the monsters were at their strongest, when the town around him was so silent it hurt, crashed down on Tweek once more.

 

_I wish he could love me again. Just for a moment._


	2. Toxic Thoughts of an Overachiever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys are awesome! Thank so much for all the wonderful comments and encouragements!! It means so much to me that you guys like this story, because I lovee writing it. Because I felt so happy about all the comments, I managed to finish the chapter early, so here you go! 
> 
> I'm always up for constructive criticism, so let me know if you like the chapter and if I should change anything.
> 
> You guys are amazing and I love everything you've told me. Thanks so much!
> 
> Anyway, here's the chapter!!
> 
> Merci

As the sun sunk behind the horizon (which was just the mountains, in reality), the town shed its oppressiveness, and Craig Tucker felt less like destroying everything around him. The sun receded and the stars appeared, and it was like that feeling of endless anger and churning regret began to lessen from his gut.

It was always like that. Craig hated this town and everyone in it, except for like four people. And the owner of those endless pools of emerald waters was one of them. Those eyes; the fear, the wonder, and the vividness that they saw the world in, drew the noirette in as if he was sinking with fifty pound weights tied to his ankles. It took everything in him to not stare into the eyes and fall into the security they seemed to offer.

Craig shook his head to banish the haunting image of Tweek Tweak sitting before him, hunched into a fetal position, his body shaking as if the lukewarm weather of South Park, Colorado in late summer was the coldest of winters. The blonde had been scared, terrified even, of what Craig’s question could have been about. It had been obvious. It had always been obvious. It was like Craig could read the spastic teen’s mind. Ever since they were kids, he could always figure out what was wrong and knew exactly how to make it better.

Wait, what was he thinking? He hadn’t ever been that close to Tweek Tweak in Elementary. They didn’t run in the same circles...did they?

Craig couldn’t remember. Like the rest of this godforsaken town, no one could accurately remember what had happened when Craig and the others were in fourth grade. It was like someone had taken a magic marker and covered up the entire year in thick, dark strokes.

“Dude, are you gonna listen to me or are you gonna check out on me completely?”

Craig blinked and looked down to see Clyde Donovan on his right and Token Black on the other side of Clyde.

_Right, I was hanging out with them. What the hell was I thinking about?_

Shaking his head again, the noirette went to take a drag of his newly lit cigarette to realize that there wasn’t anything left of it. He had wasted the entire cigarette zoning out.

The taller boy growled and flicked the spent cigarette behind him. He hated wasting them. He didn’t have that many left. He hated being underage. He had to rely on the idiot Kenny McCormick to get his fix. It sucked.

“Again, Craig!?” Clyde whined, pulling on his friend’s sleeve, which only caused Craig to yank his arm out of Clyde’s reach. He hated when the brunette did that. “Can’t you listen to me!?”

“Clyde, calm down,” the calm and collected voice of Token Black called. “He’s probably got something on his mind. Don’t whine.” The black teen didn’t even look up from his phone, where from Craig’s vantage point, he could see that he was reading an article about some science exhibition.

“But Tokeeeeeeen!”

“I said don’t whine, Clyde.”

Craig rolled his eyes as Clyde crossed his arms and grumbled under his breath.

The three elapsed into silence as they walked back to Token’s house. They had been planning on getting together earlier that day to do homework, but Craig had heard that damn senior blabbing about fucking up Tweek and something in his chest snapped. Not literally, that would have hurt probably. But it was as if a rubber band had snapped and told Craig to run as fast as he could to check on the blonde. He still wasn’t sure why that had happened. But...he had just felt so...calm once he realized that Tweek wasn’t hurt. Though, calm didn’t seem like the good enough word. Maybe he was...relieved? Craig wasn’t sure. He was so used to anger and guilt and just plain nothingness that any other emotion didn’t seem to exist.

As the three of them walked up the long driveway of Token’s mansion, Clyde spoke up again.

“So what were you doing behind Tweak Bros.?”

“Nothing.”

It wasn’t supposed to come out as a growl, but it did. Clyde blinked and even Token looked up from his article at the sudden animosity in Craig’s tone.

“Are you sure?” Clyde said, recovering. He waggled his eyebrows. “You sure you weren’t checking on that smol coffee bean?”

Craig’s expression didn’t change from his normally stoic blankness, but he did raise an eyebrow at that weird phrase.

“Why would I do that?” Craig muttered, pulling his chullo down over his forehead and shoving a hand into his pocket. He really didn’t want to talk about this.

They had made it to the main gate of the mansion, but they turned off into the side yard where a smaller, easier to access gate rested. It didn’t take as long to open. As soon as it did, Clyde jumped in front of Craig and held out his arms so he was blocking the gateway.

“Oh, I dunno,” the shorter teen said, drawing out the words obnoxiously. “Maybe because whenever you pass him in the halls you tend to stop walking and stare after him?” Clyde looked up at the sky. “Or maybe because whenever Tweek is mentioned, you pull your hat down like you’re trying to hide?”

“I do not.”

“Hate to admit, but you do, Craig,” Token said evenly as he put a hand on Clyde’s shoulder to spin him around. He pushed against the brunette’s back so they could finally get inside. South Park wasn’t all that cold during the summer, but once the sun went behind those mountains, it could get rather chilly.

“The hell, Token,” Craig muttered, the three of them walking through the kitchen until they made it to the basement door. They spent most of their time down there, after all. Craig wasn’t even sure Token even used his room. Considering how often Craig spent the night here, you’d think he would see the black teen go up to his room at least a few times, but he never had. “I thought you were on my side, dude.”

Token rolled his eyes as they dropped their bags behind the couch. Craig was the only one to bring his backpack over to the bar that took up a fair bit of the room. He needed to get this homework done. He hadn’t finished it in his study hall like he usually did and he didn’t want to get behind.

As long as his grades stayed higher than a B, he didn’t have to worry too much about his dad, unless the man was drunk.

“I am on your side, as I am on Clyde’s side,” Token explained as he took a seat on one of the bar stools next to Craig, while Clyde turned on the PS4 and got ready to sink into a coma playing the newest Call of Duty. The black teen put an elbow on the bar and rested his chin in his hand. “All I’m saying is that you need to stop denying everything that has to do with Tweek. The more you deny it, the harder it’s going to be to ignore it.”

Craig stared at his friend with a deadpan expression, but internally he was kicking himself. Of course Token would notice something like that. The black teen was always quiet and contemplative and always knew what was going on in his head. The noirette hated that he was such an open book in Token’s eyes.

Craig was about to argue further, but his phone chimed loudly. Pulling the smartphone out of his front jean’s pocket, the tall teen saw a text from his sister. She rarely texted him...unless…

Swiping over the screen, Craig’s suspicion was proven correct. The only thing in Ruby’s text was three letters. “SOS”

“Shit,” Craig muttered under his breath. This could be really bad. “Sorry, Toke, I gotta go.” He stood up quickly, throwing his bag over his shoulder.

“Craiiiiig, what’s going on!?” Clyde whined as he leaned over the back of the couch. “Where are you goingggg!?”

“Home.”

Craig felt Token’s eyes on him. Stopping in his rush to the stairs, the taller teen turned back to his friend.

“Anything we can help with?” Token asked, as if he knew what was going on, which he probably did.

Craig shook his head slightly. He stomach was started to get filled with that weird regret feeling that he’d had so much lately. Soon it would give way to anger, if Ruby was hurt at all. He didn’t say anything more to his friends, instead he flipped them off as he retreated up the stairs.

The noirette didn’t even stop to close the door, he just took off in a sprint to his house. He need to get there as soon as possible, before Ruby got hurt.

 

~

 

“What the FUCK do you mean he isn’t home!!”

Craig heard the roar and the crash before he had even gotten to the door.

_Yeah, the asshole is drunk again._

As his hand rested on the door handle, he heard a whimper from his right.

“Craig...is that you?”

The noirette quickly jumped off the front steps into the bushes right next to him. In the bushes was Ruby, his little sister. She wasn’t that much younger than him, only by a few years, but she looked so small curled up like she was.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

The smaller girl grabbed onto the hand that Craig offered and they stood up together.

“He...he’s been going on like that for an hour. He’s really pissed at you for not being home.”

Craig rolled his eyes. He was always pissed at Craig. But for not being home? He had told both of his parents that he was going to Token’s house after school. Then again, if the asshole was drunk, it didn’t matter what Craig had told him.

“You should probably get in there.”

Craig hummed in agreement. He didn’t want anything else to get broken.

Walked back up the stairs, Craig pushed through the door quickly, wanting to get this over with. He tugged on his chullo just to make sure he wouldn’t lose it in what was gonna happen.

“The hell have you been, asshole!?”

Craig didn’t even flinch at the roar of his father, or at the bottle that was chucked at his head. It was off kilter by about an inch, so it flew to the right of Craig and hit the door frame as the noirette closed the door behind him. Ruby would stay outside in the bushes until all this was over, like she usually did.

“Token’s.”

“Well,” the lumbering giant that was Thomas Tucker took a few steps toward his son and grabbed onto the front of the black, slightly puffy vest that Craig wore, yanking his son a few inches off the ground. “Do you have any idea who we got a call from today!?”

His father was right in his face, and Craig could smell the acidic stench of alcohol on his breath. “Not a clue,” Craig ground out, trying not to flip the man off, or punch him. Neither would help him.

“From the goddamn school!! Again!!” Thomas reared back and ground a fist into Craig’s stomach, drawing a choking cough from the teen. “You got into another fight!!” Thomas dropped the noirette to the ground and kicked him hard, sending him sliding across the floor to slam into the door. “And they fucking called us!! Do you know FUCKING ANNOYING it is to keep getting calls from that gay ass counselor!? And then he tells me that you skipped class again and was found getting fucking high in the bathroom!!”

Craig didn’t say anything as he curled on the floor, he only flipped his father off. He knew he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t help it. This asshole was pissing him off.

Like he predicted, it only made is father even more pissed. The giant came at Craig with a roar, grabbing him by the collar again to bring them face to face.

“You will NOT disrespect me like that!”

Craig felt spit hit his face and it took all he had to not spit back in his father’s face. The next thing he knew, a fist connected with his cheek and he was flying across the room again. Craig coughed and tasted blood, the irony liquid filling his mouth.

“You better learn real quick, you fucking disgrace, that this is my house and my rules, and I’m fucking done with your shit.”

Thomas’s voice was quieter than before, his anger fizzling out as he turned and walked back to the kitchen, probably to grab another bottle of whiskey. Craig waited a few moments before struggling to his feet, tapping on the front door lightly to signal Ruby.

The door opened behind him and her voice came through, quietly, “Is he done?”

“Yeah.”

His younger sister stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “Was it bad?”

“Not as bad as usual. Only flipped him off once.”

“Well, at least he didn’t break any ribs this time, right?”

Craig hummed his agreement. That would have been inconvenient. True, he did have a split lip, and a cut cheek, and probably a few new bruises, but nothing he couldn’t handle. It was usually worse.

“You gonna go back to Token’s?” Ruby asked as she tiptoed over to the stairs, not wanting to alert their father to her presence.

Craig only shook his head. He didn’t wanna walk all the way back. His stomach hurt.

_He didn’t have to hit the same place twice, damn._

As the noirette followed his sister to the stairs and up to their rooms, Craig’s mind wandered back to a certain blonde. He probably had it better than Craig ever would. At least Tweek’s parents didn’t hit him. Craig’s life sucked. He hated it. Hated his dad. Hated this town. Hated himself. His father was right, he _was_ a disgrace. He didn’t deserve to to exist.

As soon as his bedroom door was closed, he tossed his backpack across the room. Homework could wait. He needed to get those feelings out of his head. He didn’t want to deal with them.

Craig grabbed the closest notebook and pen and sat down on the floor, back against the door. And then he began to write. He wrote out all those confusing thoughts and annoying emotions that he didn’t understand. He even wrote about Tweek. Well, not about the boy himself. No, about those eyes, and how they made him feel.

If Craig would have thought about it, he would have remembered how many notebooks he had filled just with descriptions and melodies of those eyes. But Craig never thought about his previous songs; he just locked them up in the back of his mind.

He didn’t want to admit just how much he missed those eyes looking up at him with trust and admiration.

Craig wouldn’t admit just how many times this one thought circled his mind.

 

_I wonder if we could be together again, just him and me, like we used to be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of the chapter was nonsense and didn't make much sense. I'm sorry. I'm trash I'm sorry.


	3. Monsters and Blades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! WARNING!!  
> TRIGGER WARNING!!
> 
> There is some self-harm in this chapter, so please be aware that not everyone can handle this kind of thing.
> 
> I was gonna wait until tomorrow to post this but I felt like I just had to post it now. If I didn't, the effect of it would be gone in my mind. So please, dont expect this all that often, this is a special case.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter...I did have a little bit of trouble with it.
> 
> If you have any criticism, don't be afraid to ask.
> 
> Merci

Sometime after South Park had fallen asleep, Tweek closed the coffee shop. It was probably around midnight by the time the blonde had gotten the entire shop cleaned up and the alarm set. Locking the front door behind him, Tweek looked up at the sky, trying to pick out the stars, but clouds had begun to roll in.

_It’s...probably gonna storm again. Hope I get home before it does._

With that thought in mind, the blonde shoved his shaking hands into his sweater pockets and began to make his way home. Only the impending storm spurred him on. Tweek didn’t really want to go home, what with the empty house with only the monsters as company. Not that they were good company. At least Tweek wasn’t completely alone.

Thoughts of monsters gave way to a shiver and a whimper as the blonde struggled with the zipper to his duffel bag, where he kept his work shoes and apron, as well as his sketching materials. He had also shoved his silver titanium thermos, filled to the brim with steaming coffee. Even now, years after his parents stopped shoving it on him, coffee was still one of the only things that could really calm him down.

As Tweek finally wriggled the warm metal free of his apron, he unscrewed the cap. Well, he tried to. He just couldn’t get a good enough grip to twist the thing. He began to emit small sounds of frustration as his fingers became numb and useless. And the one time he focused on something other than his own two feet, Tweek felt the toe of his shoe catch on an uneven section of sidewalk. Before he knew it, the blonde went sprawling face first into the pavement, his thermos falling from his meager grip and clanging about fifteen feet down the sidewalk.

“Ouch...” Tweek whined, feeling a stinging warmth on his knees as well as his elbows, the two things to hit the ground first. He had probably scraped both of them, tearing open the fabric of his jeans and green button down. There was sure to be blood as well. At the thought, tears sprang into the corners of his eyes.

The blonde hated ruining his clothes like this. He was running out, and he didn’t have enough money to go buy new ones, especially not his cardigan. Tweek was only able to take a small amount of money from the register each week, just enough to buy the essentials. The rest of it had to go to orders for the shop. And even if there was some left over, he wouldn’t take it anyway. He didn’t want his parents to accuse him of stealing. That...that would just be _way_ too much pressure. Just too much.

“Why am I so useless…?” Tweek whimpered, trying to control the spasms wreaking havoc on his nerves. He struggled to a sitting position, checking his knees for tears. It was just as he feared, large gaping holes, the edges stained with blood from the deep scrapes left there by the pavement. Another pair of jeans down the drain, and without the ability to mend them, he was down to two pairs.

The tears began to flow freely now, and Tweek’s body was wracked with sobs. He just couldn’t handle it anymore. He was just so...sick if it. He felt his eyes close, trying to block it all out, but it just made him cry harder.

“Awe, did our poor Tweeky get hurt?”

The sudden voice in the silence startled Tweek out of the majority of his sobs. While his eyes had been closed against the pain, Tweek didn’t hear Kenny McCormick walk up to him and lean down to look at him.

“W-what do you—ngh—want, Kenny?” Tweek mumbled, able to keep his voice down just because the sobs had made his throat hurt.

A wide, obnoxious smile formed on the parka-clad teen;s face as he sat down in front of Tweek. He shrugged and his parka made a weird, fabric against fabric, squeaky noise. “I just wanted to see what this random person was doing in the middle of the sidewalk,” the other blonde explained. Tweek didn’t completely believe him.

Kenny was always doing this to him, showing up randomly and causing more stress for him. He had no idea why Kenny took time out of his day just to bother Tweek, but he didn’t like it.

Kenny must have realized that Tweek didn’t believe him, so he elaborated, “Okay, maybe I followed you here from the shop to make sure you got home without falling, but you proved me wrong.”

Tweek blinked, twitching to the side. He still didn’t entirely think Kenny was telling the truth, but he sniffled and looked around for his thermos. Usually, if he ignored the older teen long enough, he would leave Tweek alone.

“Looking for this, Tweeky?”

The blonde looked up quickly, his wild hair falling into his face. In Kenny’s hand was none other than Tweek’s coffee thermos. That obnoxious smile grew wider when Tweek went to reach for it, only two have Kenny pull his arm out of reach.

“Oh, no, no, no, Tweeky,” Kenny chided as he put the thermos behind his back. “You gotta tell me what happened before you get it back.” Tweek made a strangled noise and shook his head quickly, making it feel like his brain was hitting the sides of his skull.

He didn’t want to tell Kenny anything. It would just make it worse. He couldn’t tell the older blonde anything. It would just make his monsters angry. Talking about them always made them angry. They were the cause of all his fears.

“Tweeky...” Kenny said, softly. He pulled the sleeve of the shirt under the parka down over his hand and reached forward towards Tweek’s face. It caught the spastic teen by surprise, enough that he let Kenny rub at his cheeks with the slightly scratchy fabric, wiping away the tracks of his tears. “Did something happen with Mr. Blue-eyes?”

Tweek flinched when Kenny mentioned Craig. That’s what he always called Craig when Tweek was upset, as if his real name would make things worse.

“N-NO, OF COURSE NOT! JESUS, MAN, WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT!?” Tweek all but screeched. He felt that panic coming back, the same panic he felt when he was afraid that Craig hated him. He still wasn’t sure that Craig _didn’t_ hate him, but still.

Kenny giggled, kind of like he used to when he was Princess Kenny all those years ago during that Stick of Truth fiasco. “So something _did_ happen.”

“I...I already t-told you that NOTHING HAPPENED!!” Tweek yelled again, twitching hard to the right and wrapping his arms tightly around his middle. The panic was becoming too much, it was too much pressure in his head.

“Oookay, Tweeky, whatever you say!” Kenny said, but Tweek wasn’t sure that the older blonde was gonna drop the subject.

“J-just give me back my—gah!!--coffee!!”

Not even seconds after he said it, the thermos was dropped in his lap and Kenny was gone.

_He’s always—ngh!--doing that! I hate it!_

Tweek sniffled again, grabbing onto the still warm metal. He tried to open the cap again, but found that it had already been loosened. If he would have thought harder about it, he would have realized that Kenny had to have been the one to loosen it. But he didn’t care at the moment. He just needed the coffee.

Taking a few large gulps of the close-to-burning liquid, Tweek felt it slide down his throat and warm him mostly empty stomach. As the caffeine began to race it’s way through his system, Tweek felt better. He was still twitching, still making those spastic noises that he always did, but they were less than before. How coffee could calm him so easily still shocked him.

Shaking his head, Tweek struggled to his feet and readjusted the duffel back hanging from his shoulder. A loud peal of thunder boomed around Tweek in waves. Yeah, he really needed to get home. One foot in front of the other, Tweek limped the rest of the way home.

 

~

 

“I-I’m home!”

Tweek listened to the echo of his voice throughout the empty house. He knew that his parents wouldn’t be there, but he felt like he had to let the monsters know he was there. Just a precaution.

The blonde shut and locked the door behind him, kicking off his already untied boots. He always had trouble keeping his shoes tied. He shook too much while tying them to do it right. Tweek was glad his work shoes were slip ons.

Padding quietly through the entry way to the kitchen, Tweek looked around for something to eat before he retreated to his room. When the only things he found were a half-eaten bag of Cheesey Poofs and one, only slightly mushy, banana, he sighed. He needed to go grocery shopping, but that would mean getting a ride to the next town over, and the blonde wasn’t so sure he wanted to do that.

Stopping at the coffee maker and making a fresh pot, just in case Tweek ran out (even though we all know he’ll run out), it wasn’t long before Tweek was making his way upstairs.

Tweek lingered a few seconds at his parent’s bedroom door. They hadn’t used the room in months, since they had gone out of the country once again.

“Ngh!”

Tweek ripped himself away from the abandonment that room made him feel. True, they never spent any time in there anyway, but it still held memories from before...from when his parents used to pay attention, if only for those few sparing seconds each day.

Almost tripping over the carpet, the blonde stumbled into his room, slamming the door behind him. His room didn’t feel as empty and lonely as the rest of the house did. It wasn’t exactly a solace for Tweek, either. The monsters still existed under his bed and in the shadows, in the closet and just outside his window. He was just better at ignoring them now.

Tweek leaned against the door, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his shaking knees, trying to calm his heart. He was so sick of this empty house, the silence that hurt. Leaning his forehead on his arms, he drew in shaky breaths. His twitching had become stronger again, the spastic sounds getting louder.

Feeling the beginnings of a panic attack, the terrified blonde groped around for his thermos. When his fingers touched the smooth metal, he let out a strangled sigh.  All he managed to do was roll it farther away from him.

_No...no please no!! Not now!! I...I CAN’T DO THIS!!_

Tweek felt a spasm rip through him, his head slamming back against the door.

That was when he knew...coffee just wasn’t gonna cut it this time.

Struggling to maneuver into a kneeling position, Tweek crawled on hands and knees over to his bedside table. His vision was getting blurry. He felt that hot sting of tears in his throat and his breathes were coming in hyperactive spurts. Feeling around, sobs ripping through his body, Tweek finally felt the chrome finish of the tin he was looking for.

It took all his effort to wrap his uncooperative fingers around the tin, flipping the top open.

There it was...the only thing that could stop this.

That small blade was still as sharp as when he found it in his parent’s junk drawer. It was a small penknife, and it fit comfortably in Tweek’s tiny hands. He was so much smaller than everyone else. Maybe that’s why this blade was perfect for him.

“Please, just make it go away...make the hurt go away!!”

The shaking blonde curled around his left arm, pulling the sleeve up to his elbow.

As soon as the blade touched his skin, it nicked him. He put more pressure until he felt that warm feeling of release as the blood dripped from his wrist.

Tweek hated this. He hated doing this. He hated himself. He felt so...stupid. And weak. And useless. He just wished the world would go away. He wished he didn’t have to deal with this town or seniors, or any of it. It was just too much sometimes. Right now, he just wanted everything to disappear.

Tweak let the tears fall as he felt his panic soon start to subside, as another line was drawn. The blonde let the blade fall to the floor next to him. He let himself bleed until he could feel the pain of the lines. Once he felt that pain, the rest of his senses came back to him and he was able to breath again. The panic was gone. All that was left was shame.

From that same tin, Tweek withdrew alcohol pads to clean the blade and his wrist with. He hated touching the blade once he was done with it...but he didn’t want anything to stick to it and make him sick the next time he used it. Because there _would_ be a next time.

Once both were thoroughly cleaned, the blonde opened a new bandage and covered up what would soon turn to scars. At least Tweek always seemed to heal quickly.

Putting everything away and throwing the used alcohol pads into the waste bin next to where he kept the tin, Tweek stood up again.

He wasn’t shaking as much as before. He still had a twitch every now and then, but it wasn’t so bad. He was calm now, or as calm as the spastic teen could get.

_No chance of sleep again tonight, though._

Tweek swallowed the lump in his throat, left over from the tears, and he turned the light on. As soon as he did, Tweek took in his room as if for the first time.

Paintings and sketches were strewn everywhere, on the bed, on the floor, some taped to the wall, others in a stack next to his easel.

Tweek painted a lot. It was just another thing to help him try to understand some of the chaos in his head. He didn’t have to think when he painted, he just...painted.

There was a half finished piece already on the easel. Tweek stared at it for a few moments before picking up his thermos and walking over to it. He wasn’t sure what it was yet, but it looked kind of like an angel. But not. The blonde didn’t know.

Tweek nodded, his hair falling in his eyes again. He hadn’t had it cut in a long time, so it was starting to get a bit in the way. Grabbing one of the many headbands that were on the desk next to the easel, as well as the bottle of water that was there, Tweek fixed his hair up out of his eyes and refilled his rinsing glass.

If he wasn’t going to sleep, he might as well paint.

Sitting down at the easel, the blonde grabbed his phone out of his pocket and the headphones that were hanging over the arm of the chair. Music helped to block out the monsters, and they didn’t seem to want to bother Tweek when he was painting. Sometimes, they could be amicable.

Putting in the earbuds, putting on a random song, and grabbing a fresh paintbrush, Tweek lost himself in the world he created with those colors. Everything around him faded away except for those strokes.

If he had been on the outside, maybe Tweek would have noticed that icy blue eyes that become the focal point of that painting. Maybe he would have realized that he wasn’t truly alone, not with those eyes keeping the monsters at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gawd, my poor baby!!!! I"m so soooorrryyyyy, I can't believe I did this to yooouuuuuu. geeeehhhhh
> 
> Okay *wipes tears away* I'm sorry to you guys too, this wasn't an easy chapter, but it had to happen eventually. 
> 
> Also, when Tweek picks that random song, the one I was listening to was Infected by Sickick, if you want to get in the perspective of Tweek. 
> 
> Hey, would any of you be willing to provide some illustrations for me? I have a hard time picturing stuff sometimes, so I thought I might as for some help.


	4. Is It More Than Just Anger?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that I'm still going...usually I've crashed and burned by now but damn, I'm just so happy that you guys like this so much. I'm a happy little bean right now x3 gaaahhhhh
> 
> I know the last chapter was painful...it hurt me so much but...i had tooooo gehehhhh
> 
> Anyway, I know that this chapter is still more utter nonsense, but i think I did okay... Hope you guys like it.
> 
> Merci

“Craig! It’s time to get up!”

At the sound of Ruby’s yell, Craig slowly dragged himself out of sleep. He didn’t want to leave his bed. He didn’t want to go to school. He hadn’t finished his homework.

The noirette sighed and threw an arm over his unadjusted eyes. Of course his window would face the sunrise. He couldn’t skip today, not when he had just had that thing with his dad.

“Craig Matthew Tucker!!”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up! I’m going!”

It should have registered as funny that Ruby, being four years younger than him, acted more like a mother than their own mother. She was the one who woke Craig up most days, made sure he ate something for breakfast, and even did his laundry if he asked. It was kind of weird.

With an extended groan, Craig practically snaked his way out of bed so that he was sitting on the floor, facing his closet.

As if sensing that he was awake, there was a weird squeak and then a muffled _pompf_ as Stripe the 5 th hopped down from his wicker bed. The guinea pig waddled around in a circle until Craig got up and walked over to the cage that rested in his closet.

“Hey, buddy,” Craig mumbled, rubbing at his right eye. He felt like there was something holding his eye shut. The noirette pulled out a small bag of chewing blocks he had recently bought, withdrawing one and handing it to Stripe through the bars. “Enjoy.” He watched the small rodent nibble on a corner of the block, making small, adorable _mmf_ noises as he did so. Compared to the other guinea pigs he had had over the years, Stripe the 5 th was the most noisy. It didn’t bother him, honestly. It was just one of those things that you got used to.

“Craig, five minutes!”

“Fuck off, I’m going!” Craig yelled back at his sister. He didn’t say it with malice, though. Anyone who knew the two of them well enough could realize how much they cared for each other. After all, they only had one another in that house to rely on.

It was a good thing both their parents left the house early for work, considering the amount of yelling Ruby and Craig did in the mornings as they got ready for school.

Pulling off his chullo for just a moment, Craig ran a hand through his hair. He would have to skip out on a shower that morning just because he slept for so long. Shrugging, the hat came back on and Craig changed into clean clothes. He hadn’t even put on pajamas the night before, just fell asleep in what he was wearing.

Feeling lazy, Craig just changed his t-shirt to one with a guinea pig in space, and he pulled on a plain black hoodie. That would have to do. Not as if he really cared.

Grabbing his backpack from where he had tossed it the night before, Craig made his way out of his room.

“What’s for breakfast?” Craig called down the stairs to where he could hear Ruby clanging around in the kitchen.

“Nothing! You woke up late! We don’t have time!”

Craig rolled his eyes. He’d just snag something from Token’s locker before homeroom. The black teen always had tons of snacks in there. Clyde tended to get hungry in between classes, so Token made sure that he was always fed.

“Shoes, Craig, let’s go!”

The small, red-haired girl (which gave her the nickname of Ruby) was tapping her foot as she stood next to the front door. She was already fully dressed with shoes and her bag. She was giving Craig an impatient look.

Craig just flipped her off, which was returned in kind.

At least the start of the day wasn’t so bad.

 

~

 

“Craaaaiiiigggg!!”

And there it was. Craig stopped in his path towards his locker as he heard the loud cry of his friend from somewhere behind him. Turning slightly to the right, the brunette ran smack into Craig with a tight hug. The noirette just shoved him off.

“G’morning! How’s it going!? How was your night!? Did you get your homework done!? Craig, are you listening!?”

The taller teen just stood there, stoic and silent as Clyde continued his barrage of questions. It wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, so he just let the brunette go.

“Clyde, enough. He can only answer one thing at a time.”

Pausing mid-sentence, Clyde turned to look at Token with a pout.

“But Tooookeeeeen!!”

“Clyde.”

The brunette huffed and crossed his arms.

“Fine.”

Resuming to his original destination, Craig didn’t wait for his friends. He knew they would be right behind him. Coincidentally, their lockers just happened to be right next to each others.

“Hey, Toke, you got a poptart or something in your locker I can have?” Craig asked as they stopped in front of their lockers.

His friend nodded and spun in his combination, withdrawing a silver package and tossing it to Craig. “Skip breakfast?”

“Slept late. Ruby didn’t make anything.”

A small smile pulled at the corners of Token’s mouth as he gave a small laugh.

“She mother’s you.”

Craig said nothing, just flipped his friend off without looking as he started switching out books in his locker.

“Hey, Craig!! Hey, hey, Craig!!”

“What, Clyde?”

“I finished the campaign for the new CoD!! It was so good! Hey, did you know...”

And that was when the noirette began to tune out Clyde’s tirade. He had gone on about this game in much the same fashion for weeks. It wasn’t anything Craig hadn’t heard before.

He liked Clyde. He was glad the brunette was his friend. They were neighbors; they grew up together, and Clyde had spent most holidays at Craig’s house. Clyde was a big fixture in his life. But fucking hell, he never shut up. Craig was a man of few words, and Clyde was a big ball of hyper that couldn’t stop talking. Maybe that was why they got along. The brunette wasn’t put off by a one sided conversation. It seemed to just spur him on.

As Clyde continued on and on, Craig shut his locker and started munching on the poptart. Homeroom wouldn’t start for another ten minutes, max, so Craig was content to just let Clyde babble while he zoned out.

But, as usual, that didn’t last long once almost golden hair caught his eye.

_There he is. Knew he would be here today._

Craig focused on Tweek as the blonde teen stuck close to the wall, keeping as far from the rest of the students as possible. He locker was just across from Craig’s, so the noirette always had a pretty good vantage point. His height helped, too. Although it was a little loud in the halls, Craig could still hear the small sounds that Tweek emitted without realizing.

Craig watched as the smaller teen put his head against his locker with a loud _thunk._ Struggling, like he did every morning, Tweek spent a few moments trying to get the combination correct. It took quite a few tries, but as soon as it was open, the noirette saw a little of the tension in Tweek’s shoulders fade.

“Craig?”

Blinking, forcing himself back into the conversation his friends were having, Craig looked over at Token. He focused on the look the black teen was giving him.

“You’re staring again, dude,” Clyde whispered, although it sounded more like a stage whisper than anything.

Craig flipped them off again. Couldn’t they just let him Tweek-watch in peace? Yeah, he got it. Maybe it was a little weird that Craig tended to zone in on Tweek whenever the smaller teen was near. He couldn’t help it. There was just something...something about those eyes…

“It’s happening again.”

“Hey! ADD idiot!!”

At that phrase, Craig straightened.

_Fucking Seniors._

“Ngh!! Please, l-leave me alone!!”

Tweek was getting harassed by that green-haired asshole again. It had become a pattern lately. Tweek would come to school maybe two or three times a week, and every day that he did, that senior was right there to fuck with him.

The blonde was now cowering against his locker, shrinking visibly. He was small enough that he could almost hide in his locker. The Senior was in his face, laughing at him.

It bothered Craig. Why it bothered him, the noirette didn’t understand. It confused the hell out of him. Why would he care if some guy he’d never spent any time with other than just in passing was getting picked on. He didn’t even like Tweek.

Did he?

“Awe, are you gonna cry, ADD idiot?”

“N-NO! PLEASE D-DON’T—GAH—C-CALL ME THAT!!”

Even at Tweek’s loud cry, no one batted an eye. No one turned to look at him. People just generally ignored him.

Suddenly, the Senior grabbed roughly onto Tweek’s hair, yanking the blonde away from the safety of his locker. Just as quickly, the Senior slammed his head back against the neighboring locker, leaving a dent.

“Shut up, fag!! I’ll call you what I damn well please!”

That was it. Craig couldn’t take it anymore.

Pushing off his locker, the tall noirette pushed through the throngs of people over to where the fucker was standing over Tweek, who was now curled onto the floor, holding his head.

“Craig, don’t!” he heard Token yell to him with concern, but Craig ignored him.

As Craig drew up to them, the senior looked up at Craig, who was at least six inches taller than him, and snarled.

“The fuck you want, fuckface?” the Senior sneered.

Without even a word of warning, Craig pulled back and drilled his fist into the Senior’s cheek, sending him smashing into the locker’s behind him. Not sparing the idiot a glance, the noirette bent down and put a hand under Tweek’s arm and pulled the spastic teen behind him, acting as a shield.

“Leave him alone.”

The snarl caught all three of them off guard. Craig wasn’t sure why he had spoken the way he did, but he didn’t regret it. Feeling the small blonde shiver against his side, Craig felt...calm. For the first time in years, Craig was completely empty of that churning guilt and regret that threatened to overcome him.

The Senior recovered quickly, stumbling to his feet and wiping the blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth.

“So is that how we’re gonna play it, huh, fuckface?” He ran a hand over his spiky hair and gave Craig an amused look mixed with potent disgust. “One fag protecting another?”

“Stop calling him that.”

Laughing darkly, the Senior sneered again. “Like I said before, I’ll call him what I damn well please, and nothing you do is gonna stop me.”

“Wanna put money on that?” Craig growled, his voice going deeper than usual. He felt something pulling on his sleeve as well as heard someone telling him to stop and get outta there, but Craig wasn’t budging until the fucker left Tweek alone. He was done watching the poor kid get fucked with on a daily basis. He was done standing by while the blonde got more and more bruises every day. He was sick of it. It made his stomach churn. He didn’t want to admit it, but Token might just be right. Maybe he did feel something for the spastic boy, but right now, that didn’t matter.

“Nah, I’m bored of this,” answered the Senior. He started to walk away, but turned back and looked down at the twitching teen hiding behind Craig. “But this isn’t over. You can bet on that.”

As soon as the Senior walked off and turned the corner, it was like everything around Craig came back into focus. The object of his anger was gone, so his senses caught up to his head. A crowd had formed around the two, plus Clyde and Token who were standing not far away.

“Gah!!”

The small cry next to him drew Craig’s eyes down from where they were staring after the Senior. Tweek had his eyes downcast and was shifting from one foot from the other. He looked so...small...and defenseless. But that wasn’t right. Craig knew the fury that was hidden deep inside that small body.

Wait...how would he know that…?

Mentally shaking the thought away, the noirette locked eyes with the blonde.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, as the crush of students began to appear again since the entertainment had ended.

Tweek nodded quickly, and Craig noticed that his hair had gotten longer in the past few months. It was over his ears, hung down his neck slightly and almost covered his emerald eyes.

“Y-yeah...I’m—ngh!--okay...but…” The blonde paused midsentence and twitched to the side. He didn’t say anything for a few moments. Craig didn’t want to push him. His head probably still hurt and it was making him all jumbled. Or at least that’s what Craig thought, until Tweek let out a whimper and practically yelled, “But c-can you let go of me n-now!?”

Blinking in surprise, although his general deadpan expression didn’t change, Craig looked down at his hand, which was still gripping Tweek’s upper arm. Letting go and stepping away from the spastic teen, Craig glanced over at his friends.

Token looked almost...confirmed? Did that make sense. Clyde just looked immensely happy, which kind of weirded Craig out.

“Sorry,” Craig mumbled, pulling his chullo farther down his forehead. He felt warmth enter his cheeks slightly, but forced it away.

Tweek hummed nervously, and teetered on his feet. He shook his head and let out another half groan, half whimper. “N-not a b-big deal...” Craig saw him pull on the sleeves of his dark green sweater. It was only a few shades darker than the normal button ups that he usually wore. “B-but!!” Tweek screeched, his pitch jumping quite a few octaves, “Y-you shouldn’t have hit him!! Now he’s gonna get b-back at you and you m-might get hurt and—agh!!--if you g-get hurt because of me...no...no that’s TOO MUCH PRESSURE!! GAH!!”

The blonde put his arms over his head, grabbing onto the opposite sleeves, and circled a little. The hallways were beginning to empty out as homeroom was about to start, so he had room to do so. Tweek whimpered again and went closer to his locker. He looked like he was struggling to not put his hands into his hair and yank, like he used to when they were kids.

The spastic teen twitched harder and dug into the duffel back in his locker and withdrew a silver thermos.

_Coffee, probably._

Tweek, who seemed to struggle at just about everything, struggled to get the cap open. He almost dropped it a few times until Craig stepped forward and did it for him. He couldn’t stand watching the poor teen’s fingers slide over the thing any longer.

As soon as the top came off, Tweek gulped down probably about half of the thing.

Craig was about to ask if Tweek was okay again, but instead, the blonde’s eyes widened even more than they already were (which seemed impossible beforehand) and he let out a loud screech.

“OH, NO, I’M GONNA BE LATE!!”

Tweek snatched the top out of Craig’s hands, screwed it back on, grabbed a few things from his locker and then took off in a twitchy sprint down the hallway. He didn’t even shut his locker in his rush to get away.

The taller teen stepped forward and closed it for him.

_Jesus christ, does the guy ever stop going ballistic?_

But Craig knew it was true that Tweek did calm down. There were times when his twitches all but stopped. He’d only seen it a few times, though, when the blonde was painting. The boy could paint, that was for sure.

Craig didn’t noticed Clyde and Token come up next to him until Clyde yanked on his sleeve. Out of impulse, the noirette pulled his arm away and flipped the brunette off.

“You saved him, Craig! Wow, that was so cool!” Clyde cried, a big, goofy smile on his face. If Craig would have actually cared, he would have noticed that Token was smiling as well, as if he had proved some kind of point.

“That Senior was just pissing me off.”

Token let out a small laugh and muttered, “We all know it was more than that.” Raising his voice to a normal volume, Token said, “But we should get to class. Homeroom started a minute or two ago,” Without waiting, the black teen turned and walked off in the opposite direction in which Tweek had run. Clyde wasn’t far behind him as he let out a string of questions about the homework and what they were going to do for lunch.

Craig was left there, staring at his hand, the one that was holding onto Tweek’s arm.

That’s all it was, right? The Senior had just pissed him off, right? It couldn’t have been more than that.

_There’s no way it was because I was worried. Nope. Fuck that._

Shoving the thought from his mind, Craig put his hands in his hoodie pockets and turned to trail after his friends.

Anger. That’s all it was…

Right…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think? Was it just anger, or was it something else?  
> And yeah, Dickhead Senior makes another appearance. He's probably gonna end up being a permanent fixture in this story...oops.
> 
> So, I have a question for you guys...  
> I have a tumblr for my fanfics, but I've never actually used it. I made it, but haven't used it since. Should I start posting stuff on their again...? Would you guys even like to see snippets of thought processes and previews of upcoming chapters and stuff? Or should I leave it how it is, or should I make a new one that's easier to get to xD I dunno.


	5. A Certain Kind of Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, oh this chapter took me.....SO GODDAMN LONG. I had so much trouble just making things make sense and I'm still not even sure if it worked out well....
> 
> Hope you guys like it
> 
> Merci

Frantic footsteps rang through the empty hallways of South Park High as a streak of blonde and green stumbled past classroom after classroom. Tweek wasn’t sure where he was running to or what he was running from. All he knew was that he just NEEDED TO GO!

If it wasn’t for fear of crashing into someone or something, Tweek would have tried to close his eyes against his racing thoughts. They were rattling against his skull, trying to spill out in what could only end up as a screech. That wasn’t gonna happen, though. Tweek wasn’t gonna let those thoughts gain a voice. That would only make them more real.

_I c-can’t believe that happened!! He’s gonna get in s-so much trouble! ALL BECAUSE OF ME!_ _Why would he do that!?_

Suddenly, the blonde heard the bell ring for the end of homeroom. Had he really been running through the halls for that long? Well, it wasn’t as if he really ended up going to homeroom anyway...he couldn’t sit through it, so he just didn’t go.

Slowing in his attempt to just _go_ , Tweek changed his path towards his first class.

Although panic still flowed through his veins, Tweek gulped down some more coffee and resigned himself to the hell that was school.

 

~

 

Finally, Tweek’s last class, and it was his favorite.

Art.

“M-miss A-addler?” the twitching blonde mumbled, walking up to the young art teacher that had become his only friend. She moved her pretty mocha eyes to look up at Tweek as he stood in front of her desk, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Yes, Tweek?” Miss Addler answered, giving him a calm smile. It was such a pretty smile that Tweek found himself unconsciously smiling back. The teacher tucked a little of her curly, caramel colored hair behind her ear as she waited patiently for Tweek to say what he needed to.

“I...I, um...I forgot my project a-at home,” the short blonde stuttered, gripping the hem of his dark green sweater hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. Tweek really, really didn’t want Miss Addler to be mad at him for forgetting his painting...he liked her too much to ever make her mad. She was his only friend...the only adult that he could talk freely with, without the fear of her judgment. Tweek still had more to say, but he was afraid of upsetting the teacher. Miss Addler, with her mocha eyes looking at him with such patience, waited for Tweek to finish his thought. “I-is there any c-chance I...that I could...nrgh, why is this so hard!?” Tweek lowered his head in embarrassment.

“Tweek, its all right,” the young teacher said softly, reaching a hand across her desk. She knew that Tweek didn’t like to be touched, so she didn’t. She just let her hand rest there. “If you want to work on something else for today, just make sure you bring your other project the next time you come in.” She gave Tweek another of her calm smiles, and he could feel the tension and fear relax from his stomach. She wasn’t angry with him, and she even understood that he couldn’t be at school everyday.

“T-thank you, Miss Addler.”

The art teacher nodded and Tweek started to make his way over to the stack of fresh canvases that Miss Addler must have just stretched. He was glad that he didn’t have to gesso an already used canvas. Tweek loved the feeling of fresh canvases. They took the paint so much easier.

_I wonder what I should work on...maybe I’ll just start and see where it goes._

Nodded to himself, his plan settled, Tweek grabbed a random canvas and took it back over to his station. It was off in a little corner of the art studio, where other students wouldn’t bother him. He almost dropped the canvas a few times, but after a few tries, he managed to get it centered on the easel.

Once all his other supplies were laid out around him, Tweek fished a headband out of his duffel bag and fixed his wild hair out of his eyes. He really needed a haircut, but he was too afraid to do it himself. He shook too much while holding scissors to ever hope of cutting straight.

Tweek wanted to pull his headphones out of his bag and lose himself in the music, however, although Miss Addler was pretty lenient about things, she didn’t tolerate phones being used during class. So instead, the blonde tried to empty his mind by mixing paint until a color caught his eye.

But he should have known that emptying his mind was just never going to happen. Instead, Tweek’s thoughts were wrenched back around to that morning. He was just so...scared...that something bad was going to happen to Craig because of him.

Tweek knew that the noirette didn’t care for him the way he used to, back when they were kids, and the blonde didn’t want to burden Craig with any of his own screw ups. Craig probably had enough on his plate without having to worry about getting in trouble because of Tweek.

Letting out frustrated little moan, Tweek put down his cool color palette and picked up the warm color one. He had found the colors he liked from the other end of the spectrum, but this side always gave him issues.

_Why did that Senior have to mess with me while Craig was around...couldn’t he just wait to harass me once I get to work...or even after school? At least then no one else will get in trouble. I don’t want anyone else to get in trouble...I’d feel so guilty._

It didn’t register with Tweek, even after all this time of painting, but once he picked up a brush, his thoughts seemed to stop stuttering and his head didn’t feel like it was under that much pressure. It was such an odd sensation that the blonde just couldn’t think about it too much, or it was gonna go away for good.

The colors weren’t coming together. All he could see was muddled shades of brown. Why couldn’t he do this right? Why was he so useless!?

Tweek groaned again as he plopped the palette back down onto his station. Holding his arms over his head, gripping his sleeves, the spastic blonde began to rock back and forth a bit. He just couldn’t handle this right now. Why did everything look so bad? Why couldn’t he do this? Why, why, why?!

“Tweek, is everything all right?”

Startled by the soft voice next to him, Tweek almost smacked Miss Addler as he flailed, trying to stay in his seat.

“NRGH!! W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?” Tweek cried, trying to keep his voice down, at least somewhat. He twitched hard to the left, his eyes moving restlessely, trying not to look the teacher in the eye.

“You’re making some frustrated noises over here, and I can tell you’re having trouble with your colors again.”

Tweek lowered his head in shame again, staring at the ruined palette of warms colors he just couldn’t deal with. Was he really that disruptive that even the teacher had to do something about it? Was he that stupid? Why did everything just keep piling on top of Tweek’s head, leaving behind so much pressure?

He must have made another groaning sound again, because the teacher gave Tweek as sad smile and sat down at the station next to him.

“Pick up the cool color palette, Tweek, and just start painting,” she said, crossing her ankles underneath the chair as she held her hands in her lap, her pretty, blue speckled nail polish shining in the afternoon sun. “Don’t worry about the warm colors right now. You can add those later, once you’ve figured out what you’re painting.” Miss Addler leaned back against the chair back and watched Tweek as he did what she told him.

The art teacher was always able to do that. Just one sentence always pushed him into working.

_Just start painting…_

Tweek took a shaky breathe and put brush to canvas, focusing on the strokes and just letting the painting become what it may.

“So what is really bothering you, Tweek?”

The teacher’s voice didn’t startle him this time. That was normal. The two of them did much this same thing almost every time Tweek was able to come to class. She helped him sort through his thoughts. Maybe it was because painting calmed him so easily. Tweek wasn’t sure.

“W-what do you mean?” Tweek answered, a question for a question. His voice seemed to even itself out by the time he got to the end of the question.

The art teacher hummed quietly and answered, “You have trouble with colors, that I understand. We all have troubles with that sometimes. But even before you began mixing the paints, there was something bothering you. Something that had nothing to do with art. What would that be?”

Tweek didn’t look at her. He kept his eyes and his focus on the painting, which had become a bed of blue-green that faded into black halfway down the canvas, which bled into a blue-ish purple that Tweek often saw in his nightmares.

“The Senior that picks on me did it again this morning, but Craig stopped him...”

Out of the corner of his eye, the blonde vaguely saw Miss Addler nod.

“And Craig is the blue-eyed boy you remember being close with in Elementary school, correct.” After a nod from Tweek, the mocha eyed teacher continued, “So why was that frustrating to you?”

“Craig punched him.”

“Did he, now?”

“Yeah, and I think the Senior is gonna get back at him somehow. And it’ll all be my fault, because I keep letting that Senior do this to me. Craig’s gonna get in trouble and it’s all because of me.”

“Why would you think he is going to get in trouble?”

Tweek grabbed a tube of blue and white and began mixing a new color. This caused his focus to come back to reality, and he twitched hard.

“B-because!!” the blonde ground out, trying to keep himself from twitching too hard now that he wasn’t focused on painting. He didn’t want to accidentally flick paint at his teacher, or the painting. “The Senior is gonna tell! He’ll tell a teacher or the principal even, and then Craig’ll get d-detention!! And It’ll be my fault!”

Tweek struggled with the sickly purple color he was trying to create, mixing in a little green just to add to the effect of it. Once these two new colors had been mixed, Tweek picked up a new brush and picked up where he left off. The purple he usually saw in his nightmares faded out to the sickly purple, and Tweek heard Miss Addler ask another question.

“When this took place, did it seem as if Craig cared that he would get in trouble?”

Tweek snorted, surprising both of them. The blonde didn’t usually do that kind of thing. He answered Miss Addler’s question, nonetheless.

“Craig doesn’t care about anything. He has this...this...fog around him that just...keeps his cares away.” As the small blonde tried to explain something that he didn’t understand, he rinsed off his brush and began blending the edges of the non-painted section he had left in the sickly purple with the piercing, light blue that he had mixed earlier. “Maybe...maybe it’s not a fog. It might be a...” Tweek paused again, squinting slightly at the blue. It seemed familiar, almost.

“An aura?”

“Yeah...an aura,” Tweek agreed, nodded slowly, picking up the brush he had used for the black area of the painting and began painting was started out as a blob of black in the middle of the blue, but soon became almost humanoid. It seemed like a person sitting with his arms around his knees. “It’s… like magic, sometimes. Or like a shield...where everything bounces off and nothing bothers him...it keeps the monsters away.” As if to solidify the idea of monsters, Tweek began painting lines from the original black area, reaching down towards the person at the bottom. They soon looked like crooked hands, wanting to touch the person, but they didn’t go that far, as if the blue around the person kept them away.

“It keeps the monsters away,” the teacher whispered, noticing something that Tweek couldn’t. “His own monsters, or some else’s?”

“Both, I think,” Tweek answered, putting down the black paintbrush and picking up the blue one again. This time, he mixed more white with it and painted another figure behind the original, it’s arms spread wide.

Once that was done, Tweek blinked slowly, as if coming back to reality, putting the brush down. He stared at the painting again, almost seeing something...familiar.

Then the spell was broken as the bell rang for the end of class, as well as the end of the school day.

“B-but that h-has—ngh—nothing to d-do with it!!” Tweek yelled, almost falling out of his chair again as a spasm ripped through him, as if the stillness of before was too much to handle. “I-I’m just worried for him!”

“Then go tell him that.”

Blinking again, eyes slightly out of sync, Tweek turned a shocked gaze to his teacher. He shook his head quickly and waved his hands around.

“Nrgh!! Oh, no, no, no! I c-can’t—gah!!--do that!”

The teacher smiled and stood up, walked around Tweek’s station to stand behind him.

“Tweek?”

The blonde twitched and nodded, looking up at Miss Addler.

“Look at what you have painted. Do you see what I see?”

Turning back around to look at the canvas, Tweek took in what he saw.

A sea of blue-green gave way to darkness, and from that darkness reached ethereal hands, reaching for a huddled figure cloaked in darkness. The figure sat, cowering, in a miasma of sickening purple. Although those hands strove to reach the poor soul, another figure stood above him. This one, arms spread wide, seemed to be calling a blue aura around the huddled figure. The blue figure acted as a shield to keep those monstrous hands away.

“W-what do you see, Miss Addler?” Tweek whispered, surprised at the painting. He always was surprised. He never knew what kind of thing he was going to paint until it was finished.

The teacher leaned down so she could whisper in Tweek’s ear. He could feel her caramel hair tickling his neck.

“I see your fear of those monsters, the ones who want to hurt you. But I also see the one who wants to protect you. I see the one who _did_ protect you when one of those monsters appeared before you.” She paused and poked him in the shoulder. “I see a certain kind of darkness within you, Tweek, a kind of darkness born of fear and loneliness. But I also see your hope.” She pointed to the figure huddled beneath those hands. “That aura surrounding both of them. That is your hope. _He_ is your hope. You just need to chase that hope, without the fear of being swallowed by darkness.”

“But...Miss Addler...how..?”

The teacher straightened and shook her head.

“You need to figure that out for yourself. I can’t tell you what you want to hear, only what you need to hear.” Tweek nodded slightly. He kind of understood what she was saying. But his thoughts were too spastic to really grasp her meaning. “Just remember that fear and hope go hand in hand. You can’t chase one without the other.”

Miss Addler turned and walked back to her desk, leaving Tweek with his thoughts. As he cleaned up his station, he tried to understand what they had talked about. All the blonde could really grasp was that he _wanted_ Craig to stand up for him. He didn’t want the taller boy to get hurt, but he also didn’t want to live without being by Craig’s side. He couldn’t tell the blue-eyed noirette, though. He didn’t see Tweek the same way anymore.

“Did you really paint that in one class?”

“OH, JESUS!! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?” Tweek screeched as he toppled over onto the floor, not realizing who had spoken. Looking up, he saw blue eyes.

Looking down at him with amusement and wonder in his usually blank stare, hands in his pockets, was Craig. Realizing this, the blonde scrambled to his feet with another screech and flew to cover the painting. He didn’t want Craig to make fun of him. “I’M SORRY!! NRGH, IT PROBABLY SUCKS!! YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT!!”

Suddenly, Tweek felt a hand on his head, ruffling his wild hair. It stopped his spastic movements almost immediately. Turning slowly to look up at the taller teen, Tweek blinked.

Then the hand was gone, yanked back and put back into a pocket as Craig’s cheeks grew a little pink. Tweek felt his own growing warmer.

“Sorry, shouldn’t have done that,” Craig mumbled, pulling his hand out of his pocket to pull his chullo down, keeping his eyes on the floor.

Tweek shook his head quickly, pulling on his sleeves. “N-no, it’s okay...” Biting his bottom lip, the blonde twitched his gaze from his hands to Craig’s eyes and back again. “W-why are you in the a-art room.”

“Was walking by and saw the painting. Thought it looked cool. Wanted to see it up close.”

Shocked, Tweek moved forward slightly. “Y-you think it looks cool?” the blonde whispered.

Nodding and humming affirmation, Craig almost smiled. It gave Tweek a weird feeling in his chest. As if there was something physically wrong, Tweek looked down and rubbed at where the feeling was. What was this?

“Tweek, I have to lock the classroom up now!” Miss Addler suddenly called.

“O-okay! I won’t be too long!”

The teacher smiled and nodded, her eyes lingering on Craig for a few seconds longer.

“Are you leaving the painting here tonight or taking it home?” Craig asked as Tweek turned around and started packing up the rest of his stuff. He pulled his headband off and shoved it in his duffel bag as well, his hair falling back in his eyes.

“I...um,” Tweek stuttered, shouldering the bag and looked back at Craig slightly. “I w-won’t be in school tomorrow, so I p-probably will t-take it home.” The blonde grabbed one of the canvas covers that hung next to the stack of canvases and slipped it over the painting. “I...I used a-acrylics so it should already b-be dry.”

Tweek was surprised at how easily he was able to talk to Craig at that moment. Normally he would have been freaking out by now. Maybe it was because of what Miss Addler had said...facing his fear. Was talking to Craig one of his fears?

Out of the blue, Craig stepped forward and grabbed the painting out of Tweek’s hands.

“W-what are you doing!?” Tweek cried, trying to snatch it back and almost tripping over the chair next to him.

“Carrying it for you so you can carry your coffee. I know it makes you feel better.” Craig held the painting over his head with one hand and grabbed onto Tweek’s with the other. “Let’s go before the teacher yells at us again.”

And then Craig was walked forward and Tweek was being dragged away, not even able to say goodbye to the teacher.

Tweek felt oddly...at ease...as Craig pulled his down the hall. It was the same feeling as when Craig’s hand has been in his hair. What was going on?

“W-where are w-we going!?” Tweek squeaked as Craig continued walking.

The noirette suddenly looked back at him with a strange, amused, conspiratory look in his eyes.

“You’ll see.”

_What the hell does that mean!?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did it makes sense? No? Yeah I didn't think so. It probably made no sense at all.
> 
> As for Tweek's painting, what do you see? I know the idea was very self explainatory especially BECAUSE I EXPLAINED IT but what do you guys think?
> 
> Think someone could actually do a drawing of this for me? I wanna know if it actually would look good....
> 
> Thanks for reading guys!! The next chapter is going to be Craig, so let's see how our emotionless beanpole is doing, shall we?


	6. What Was Broken Must Be Fixed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter today, as well as a fluffier chapter. 
> 
> I was having a lot of trouble picking up where Tweek's chapter left off, so I decided to take a break and do something different. I'll probably add in a different perspective every now and then. It helps to realign my thoughts for Tweek and Craig. I had a lot of fun writing this one. It's short, but I love it. It's got a bit of a twist!!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Merci

From his vantage point behind the art room door, the sneaky blonde could see everything.

And he liked what he saw.

As soon as Kenny McCormick saw the two quickly making their way towards the door, he ducked down so that he couldn’t be seen through the window on the door. He was sure neither Craig nor Tweek would take kindly to him spying on them.

Then again, he was always spying on them, among others. It was his favorite pastime.

Once the two were out of sight and earshot, Kenny slunk out from behind the door. A crooked smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He was glad that at least _something_ was happening between them. Before Kenny could sneakily follow them, just to see what would happen (if anything even happened), a voice called to him from the art room.

“Did you see what you came to see?”

Poking his head into the room, the blonde saw Miss Addler watching him with a bland expression. He gave her the same crooked smile he had had on his face before.

“Why, yes, Carissa, I did!” Kenny announced, striding into the room.

“You can’t call me that here. You know that.”

The teen rolled his eyes, the smile not fading a bit. “But, cousin, no one else is here,” he stage whispered. “It’s just you and me! So how about an update on our cute little Tweeky?”

Carissa Addler blinked slowly and raised an eyebrow at her younger cousin. “Wouldn’t your spying have already answered that question?” the teacher wondered, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. When Kenny didn’t say anything, only stared back at her, Carissa rolled her eyes and sighed. “Fine. Nothing has changed. He’s still as afraid as ever. The changes are with Craig. He seems to be remembering, albeit slowly. But I think it’s going to take a lot more than just your meddling to get them back to how they used to be. Tweek is still just so scared of anything to do with Craig or the truth. I can’t do much more for the boy.”

Kenny nodded through her explanation. She was right, his spying _had_ already told him this. However, he always respected another’s insight to these matters. The younger blonde thought that she might have had an idea of how to proceed, and she had. Kenny might just have to step things up a notch.

He smiled brightly at his cousin. “Thanks, Carissa, you’ve been a great help.” She only snorted, turning away from Kenny. _I guess she’s had enough of me!_ Laughing to himself, Kenny turned on his heel and walked bouncily out into the hallway. Before turning to continue his spying, the blonde called back to Carissa. “Despite not being able to do much, you better still do something. I got you this job and I can take it away just as easily.”

“Fuck off, McCormick!” Carissa called back, her true colors shining through.

“You’re a McCormick, too, Carissa. You may have changed your name, but that blood still runs in your veins!”

Without waiting for a reply, Kenny turned in the direction he saw Craig pulling Tweek. He pulled up his hood and shoved his hands in his pockets. One of the downsides of his ability was always being cold, even in the middle of the summer.

Kenny hated threatening his cousin, especially because she was the only blood relation that he could actually stand. But with McCormicks, the only way to get anything done was with threats.

Sighing, Kenny put more speed into his steps. If he wasn’t careful, he was gonna lose them. He _had_ to keep an eye on them whenever they were together. What was broken _had_ to be fixed.

And besides, it was a little bit his fault that things were broken in the first place.

Okay, maybe it was entirely his fault that he had broken things. It wasn’t like he had been _trying_ to break the timeline. His stupid ability had caused it.

Why did the McCormicks have to have the ability to change time if they died? It was stupid.

Useful, but still stupid.

If Kenny was being honest, which he rarely was, he felt completely responsible for destroying so many relationships, especially ones that were destined to be. That’s why he was trying so hard to fix things. He had been trying for _seven goddamn years_!! He was so close with Stan and Kyle, the idiots were just fighting again, over something completely idiotic. Then again, it almost made sense. They were idiots after all.

Clyde and Bebe were a bit tougher, just because Kenny knew that they weren’t supposed to get together until they were seniors. He just had to keep an eye on them.

Craig and Tweek, though...damn, he had just _fucked_ things up for them. They had actually been _together_ when Kenny died that time. All the blonde wanted to do was go back enough to make sure he didn’t die, like he did every time, but he’d overshot. He’d gone too far and changed too much, and now the timeline was shattered.

_God, this sucks so fucking much._

Mentally shaking himself, Kenny tried to wipe the evil look from his face. He could feel the glare that marred his features, and he didn’t want anyone to see it. Especially not him.

“Well, hey there, Kenny! Whatcha doin’ here after school?”

As soon as he heard that voice, Kenny was able to destroy the annoyance that was consuming him and forced a smile.

Turning around Kenny saw Butters Stotch shutting the door to his locker, apparently getting ready to leave.

“Oh, just looking for you, Leo!” Kenny cried as he practically skipped over to the locker and wrapped his arms around the shorter male’s shoulders. There was just something about this gullible little thing that made Kenny feel all warm and fuzzy.

Honestly, he’d fallen head over heels for Butters years ago. Even through that stretch that he was dating that girl online, Kenny tried his best to stay close to the smaller blonde. But he’d never admit that.

“Awe, shucks, you gotta be jokin’, Kenny,” Butters, or Leo as Kenny insisted on calling him most of the time, blushed furiously but put a hand on one of Kenny’s arms. “You know I stay a little late to make sure I got all my homework done. I don’t want my Dad to ground me for not acin’ all my assignments.”

At the mention of Leo’s dad, a little of Kenny’s warm and fuzzy feeling faded. He hated that man. Considering all the shit he’d done to Leo over the years, Kenny was surprised he hadn’t gone after the man yet. But he knew that Leo would be devastated if anything happened to his dad. Despite the abuse, Leo loved his dad.

“Have you heard from your mom, Leo?” Kenny asked, trying to lighten the mood a little. Once Kenny started to feel down, it was like Leo could sense it and got nervous, as if Kenny was mad at him.

The smaller blonde made a weird face, pursing his lips and tried to shrug, which was difficult with Kenny hanging on him like he was. “Nope!” Leo said after a moment. “I’ve been tryin’ to call ‘er but it just keeps goin’ to voicemail! She’s probably busy.”

Although Leo tried to hide it, Kenny could tell that he missed his mom. She’d left them a few years ago, after Leo’s little sister was born. Kenny guessed she was tired of Stephen’s abusiveness and didn’t want Marina around it.

Kenny buried his face in Leo’s shoulder and whispered, “You know she would have taken you with her if she could have, Butterscotch.”

Leo nodded, blushing again. Kenny only called him that when it was just the two of them, when they were trying to stay as close to each other as possible; when Kenny held him while he shook with sobs.

“Oh, I know. But don’t worry about me, Kenny. I may not be happy all the time, but who is? I know she’s doin’ what’s best for my sister, and that’s all that matters. Once I graduate, I’ll go live with them, so I can take care of Mom and help out, ya know?”

_Oh, Leo...you’re too okay with everything...can’t you just be selfish for once? Awe, who am I kidding? You couldn’t be selfish even if someone pushed it on you._

“I wish I could be as mature as you, Butterscotch,” Kenny mumbled, spinning Leo in his arms so he could hold him easier. “I wouldn’t be able to give up the people I love. I’m too selfish for that.”

Leo laughed as he held onto Kenny, the taller boy’s parka almost smothering him, but he didn’t care. He was just glad that Kenny was there with him.

They stood there like that for a little while. Kenny always felt calm when it was just the two of them. He didn’t have to worry about fixing anything with Leo just because they’d never been broken. Kenny knew they weren’t supposed to be together. He’d seen what would happen if he kept clinging to the smaller teen like this. He knew what would befall the both of them. But he was just too selfish. He wanted Leo all to himself. He couldn’t help it.

“Hey, Kenny?”

“Yeah, Leo?”

“I’ve gotta go to my piano lesson. My dad’ll get real mad if I don’t get there on time.”

Kenny reluctantly let the smaller blonde go. He really didn’t want Leo to go anywhere near his father, but there wasn’t much he could do.

“Okay. Go on, wouldn’t wanna get you in trouble,” Kenny said, gently turned the boy and give him a little push on his back. He made some _shoo, shoo_ motions, but Leo hung back for a few seconds. “What’s wrong?” Kenny asked, concerned. Had he upset the boy?

“Well, I was, uh...well, I was wonderin’...” Leo stuttered as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking down at the floor and blushing.

Kenny let out a little sigh of relief and gave Leo a soft smile. Taking the few steps forward to reach the smaller teen, he put a finger under his chin. He placed a soft kiss on Leo’s slightly damp lips. The shorter blonde had a tendency to lick his lips when he was nervous. Leo thought it was embarrassing; Kenny just thought it was cute.

The taller blonde felt Leo’s hands grab onto his parka, pulling him a little closer. That was another thing Kenny just loved about this kid. He was quite possessive when given the chance, and it make Kenny’s heart do weird flip flops whenever it happened. Kenny put a hand on Leo’s lower back and the other he moved from the smaller blonde’s chin to rest on the back of his neck. He kissed Leo again, holding him as close a physically possible.

Pulling back once he felt Leo start to shake a little, Kenny smiled at the smaller blonde. His face was as red as red could be, but he looked happy.

“Thanks, Kenny. I feel better now.” Leo gave the taller blonde a big smile. “I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah, Leo. You know I’ll be there.”

Leo smiled again, pulling out of Kenny’s arms and practically skipping down the hall.

Kenny gave a small sigh again and laughed.

_That kid is just too cute._

Once Leo turned a corner and was out of sight, Kenny turned in the opposite direction, intent to get back to what he was doing before.

That is...if they were still even around.

_I’ll fix this. I will make sure everything goes back to how it’s supposed to. Even if it means losing him forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, aren't they just the cutest...too bad fixing everything else might just mean losing Butters forever...oops.
> 
> And where did the sudden time travel come in? I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE. Just kinda...happened. again...oops
> 
> Did you guys like this one? A reprieve from the seriousness, huh?


	7. Eyes Can Reveal More Than You Think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent two hours before work and four hours after work writing this. And even before that, i had written about half of this chapter and then scrapped it. Again, I don't even know if this makes sense at all. But hopefully you guys like it.
> 
> Merci

 

Situated right next to South Park High was South Park Elementary. Obviously, most of the high schoolers hated that the kid’s school was obnoxiously close to their own. Because of this fact, most of them kept as far away as possible from the playground that was halfway on the grounds of the high school.

However, at that moment, after school had been let out and no one was around, one high school student could be seen sitting at the top of the dome-shaped jungle gym that was the center point for the playground.

The afternoon sun warming his back, Craig watched the sky as fluffy clouds rolled past. When he was a kid, when his dad had been in a bad mood, the noirette would take Ruby to the playground and they would sit in the grass, watching the clouds. His little sister always pointed out animals that she saw, while Craig would sit in silence.

Much like he was now.

Craig still couldn’t understand why he’d done it. He kind of just wanted to talk to the blonde, wanted to see how he was doing after that morning. He wanted to try and have a normal conversation with Tweek. They’d never just sat down and talked before. Because of that, Tweek felt like a stranger to Craig, even know they’d known each other since they were kids.

The noirette kind of wanted to prove to everyone that they were wrong about Tweek, that he wasn't a psycho. The blonde was just...different.

But...nothing had come of his hopes for a normal conversation.

As soon as they had reached the front doors, Tweek had yanked his hand away from Craig. He had given Craig a blatant lie of an excuse about needing to take care of the coffee shop. The noirette knew that Tweek had hired someone recently to take his place whenever he wanted to go to school.

True, he had only known this because he had heard Tweek talking about it with that art teacher on one of the days that he had stopped to watch Tweek paint, but that was besides the point.

Taking a drag of his cigarette, Craig swung his foot in the six feet of open air beneath the jungle gym. He felt stupid and he felt that churning regret in his stomach again. He had made the smaller blonde freak out one too many times. He shouldn’t have dragged Tweek around like that. He honestly wasn’t sure why he had grabbed Tweek’s hand in the first place. He could have just asked the blonde to come with him. But it was like some weird instinct that practically forced him to take the smaller teen’s hand, as if somewhere hidden in his memory, he’d done it before.

To his knowledge, though, Craig had _never_ held the spastic teen’s hand before.

_So why had it felt so familiar?_

Craig looked down at that same hand that had held Tweek’s significantly smaller one. It had been cold, but very...soft...and inviting. He hadn’t wanted to let go.

Sighing, the noirette clenched his hand into a fist, looking at the scars that covered his knuckles. There really were a lot of them, those scars. Truthfully, Craig hated that his hands looked like that, but there was no changing it now. He’d gotten into way too many fights, that was true. But he didn’t really regret it. They’d helped him work up strength, strength that he used to walk away from his father’s punches without much damage.

“Hey, Craig.”

Looking down at the soft, very _feminine,_ voicce, Craig saw Bebe Stevens, her curly blonde hair pulled into one of those “messy buns” that girls tended to wear (that Craig still didn’t understand, even though Ruby had explained it to him before). The noirette was a little surprised that he hadn't seen her approach. He was just surprised to see her in general. Since she had skipped a grade back in Elementary, Bebe didn’t really associate with the others anymore. Aside from Wendy, anyway.

“’Sup,” Craig said after a moment, squinting and staring up at the sky again. Bebe was kind of blinding sometimes, especially with her almost golden hair.

“Just looking for Clyde,” the girl said, giving Craig a soft smile as she tucked a lose curl behind her ear. Bebe was pretty, he’d give her that. But he’d never been attracted to her like most of his male classmates, especially Clyde. “He’s usually with you after school, so I was gonna ask if you’d seen him.” Bebe slightly titled her head as she looked up at Craig.

“He probably went over to Token’s, or they stopped to get food. Dunno. I’m here on my own.” Craig took a drag of his cigarette, holding in the smoke a little longer than usual, letting it burn in his lungs. Releasing it in a thin column towards the sky, Craig sighed. He was glad that he managed to bum a few off of one of his classmates. There was no way he’d make it til Thursday with no cigarettes, especially when it was only Tuesday. He was always waiting on that bastard McCormick.

“Are you okay, Craig?”

The question caught the noirette off guard, enough that he almost lost his balance on the bar of the jungle gym. Why had she asked that?

“Yeah, why?”

“Your eyes are shadowed. It looks as if something is bothering you.”

Was something bothering him? Craig didn’t think so. He’d been confused and feeling a bit guilty earler, but he was fine now. He’d learned pretty quick to not let things get to him.

“Nah, I’m fine,” Craig stated, flicking a bit of ash into his hand. He would have just aimed it at the ground, but he didn’t want to get any on Bebe, who was still standing almost directly underneath him. “Go find Clyde. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”

Craig kept his eyes on the sky, so he didn’t see the sad smile Bebe was giving him.

“Enjoy your night,” Bebe called as she turned to walk away, the breeze catching her that same lose curl as she did, pulling it out from behind her ear. The blonde stopped after a few steps and said, “I hope someday soon you can be honest with yourself, Craig Tucker. You’d be surprised by just how much your eyes can give away.” The girl started walking again, leaving Craig alone with that annoying thought.

Honest with himself? He was...most of the time.

 

~

 

“And, and, and then, I shit you not, I managed to get SIX HEADSHOTS in a row! Literally one after the other! I had the best score out of everyone, too! I was totally freaking out, man, it was so fucking awesome!”

Craig stood in the doorway to Token’s basement, bombarded with Clyde’s crazy retelling of something he’d done in the CoD. The noirette hadn’t even opened the door all the way when Clyde started going off. The brunet was standing at the top of the stairs, blocking Craig’s only way into the basement.

“Clyde, if you don’t move, I’m gonna kick you down the stairs.”

Blinking at how evenly Craig had delivered the threat, a big smile broke through Clyde’s momentary shock. The brunet pulled up the sleeves of his red Letterman jacket and put his hands on his hips.

“I don’t think you will, Craig!” the smaller teen challenged.

“Wanna bet?” Craig wondered aloud as he raised an eyebrow. He was already putting most of his weight on his left foot so he could get enough momentum to put a foot in Clyde’s gut when someone cleared their throat behind him.

Looking over his shoulder, Craig saw Token standing there, an almost incredulous look on his face. If his hands hadn't already been filled with bags of chips and a case of soda (with a few beer cans mixed in there for good measure), the black teen would have crossed his arms over his chest.

“Clyde, please just move. This shit is heavy.”

_Wow, Token swore. That’s rare. He must be annoyed._

“Alright, alright!” Clyde practically sang as he turned around and all but skipped down the stairs.

Following behind him with regular steps _like a goddamn normal person_ , Craig made his way over to his spot at the bar. He still had homework and this was literally the only place he could get it done when he couldn’t manage to finish it in his last study hall. Yesterday, he’d gotten into the fight with some idiot who was pissed at him for sleeping with his girlfriend, which Craig had literally done no such thing. So that had taken up his entire study hall. That night he was too caught up in melodies and brooding. And today, he couldn’t get the image of Tweek getting his head slammed into a locker out of his head. He’d been way too distracted lately, all because of the blonde.

_I can’t really blame this on Tweek, though. It’s my fault that I can’t keep my eyes off him._

“--but that really doesn’t have anything to do with it, does it?”

His mind suddenly catching something Token was saying, Craig felt an eyebrow rise, confusion apparent on his face. Had he said that out loud?

“But, Tokeeeeen, I’m serious!! She invited me and I don’t wanna go alone!! Do you realize how many people are gonna be there?”

“What’re you guys talking about?” Craig asked, wiping the confusion from his face. He really needed to get a better grip on his facial expressions. He was usually really good at it.

“Craaaiiiiiggggg!!” The whine pierced the noirette’s eardrums in a way that no other sound could have done. Resisting the urge to punch Clyde in the mouth just to get the whine to stop, Craig clenched his jaw.

“Clyde, enough with the whining.”

“Bebe invited me to a party tomorrow night, and I really, really wanna go!”

“So go.” There was no emotion in Craig’s voice, his urge to punch the brunet fading a little once his voice went back down to its normal pitch.

“I can’t! Not alone! How lame is that gonna be!?” Clyde blurted, waving his arms above his head, as if this was life or death. Dramatic only scratched the surface on the many things that Clyde Donovan was. Annoying was another.

“I already told you, Clyde, ‘lame’ has nothing to do with this,” Token tried to explain to the flailing teen. “If you want to go, just go. Why do you need someone else to go with you when you were invited by your girlfriend?”

A blush formed on Clyde’s cheeks as he stopped flailing and mumbled, “She’s not my girlfriend...not yet, anyway.” Raising his voice a little, Clyde continued, “But that’s exactly why I want you guys to come with me! Bebe invited me, which means a whole bunch of girls are gonna be there, too! She’s gonna spend the entire time girling out with them and I’ll just be standing there like a weirdo.”

“You are a weirdo,” Craig muttered, pulling his chullo down, hoping that Clyde hadn't heard him, but Clyde always heard him.

Throwing up his hands, Clyde put them on his hand and aggresively ruffled his hair, the brown wefts sticking out all over the place. “That isn’t the point, Craig!” The whine was back for a moment, but Clyde lowered his voice again. “I wanna go to a party with my friends, to have fun and get a bit drunk and flirt with the girl that I like. Can’t you guys just humor me this once? Please?” When Token and Craig didn’t say anything, only stared at their friend, Clyde raised his pitch again. “PLEASE!?”

Rolling his eyes, Token turned away from Clyde and walked over to where Craig was sitting at the bar to grab a glass and some ice.

“Fine, I’ll go. If I don’t, you’re just gonna get hammered and make an idiot out of yourself.”

Looking blankly at his friend (who acted more like a mother to Clyde than anything else) as Token filled the glass with ice and some Pepsi, Craig could feel Clyde’s eyes on him.

“Craig…? Please?” the brunete asked again, holding onto the back of the couch, knuckles white, as if Craig’s decision could make or break him.

Craig sighed. Swayed by the prospect of free alcohol, Craig muttered, “Fuck it. I’ll go.” Sensing Clyde was about to launch himself over the couch and pull the noirette into a bearhug, Craig leveled a hard look at his friend, stopping him from doing just that. “But you owe me.”

As if thanking the heavens, Clyde held his hands up above his head. "Fuck yes!" Then the brunet flopped back down onto the couch and got back into an online match of CoD.

Now that that whole debacle was over, Craig sat down at his spot at the bar and took his Pre-Calc textbook out of his bag. He had two whole days of assignments to catch up on, and he hated this class.

Putting the sounds of Clyde’s crazy ramblings about CoD and how pretty Bebe was to the back of his attention, Craig started melting his brain with equations.

He vaguely heard Token talking to Clyde about not bouncing on the couch so much, not drinking the soda so fast, and, “Clyde, stop whining, please.” Token sat across from the noirette at the bar, watching him do his homework.

Token always had his homework done days in advance, just because he was in higher classes than Craig. Not that Craig really cared that much. Just because Token was smarter academically didn’t mean he treated Craig or Clyde any differently. If he did, Craig would have punched out his friend a long time ago. He hated pompous asses. He was glad Token was so down to earth.

This place was comfortable. Craig felt at ease in that basement with his friends. When he lost himself in homework, or playing games, Craig could almost ignore that festering anger and churning regret that almost made him lose his lunch at least a few times a day. It was always there, like a disease. Except this disease didn’t have a cure, at least not one Craig could easily acquire.

The noirette absently played with one of the strings of his chullo, his thoughts slowing as he tried to figure out a particularly difficult equation.

“The answer is 14.”

Blinking, his mind floating back down into his body, Craig looked at Token with a vague expression.

“Huh?”

“That equation. You were almost right. The answer is 14. You swapped two of the numbers in the wrong places.”

Looking back down at his paper, Craig realized that Token was right. Then again, he was always right. But since that was the last question he had to do, Craig quickly fixed his mistake and slammed the textbook shut.

“I fucking hate this class. Why do I have to take it again?”

“It’s part of the diploma you want,” Token reminded the noirette, handing him a vanilla Coke, the only soda that Craig actually liked. The black teen always kept a bunch of them in the small fridge behind the bar.

“Right,” Craig muttered, cracking the top of the soda and taking a big gulp of it, trying to ignore the feeling of the carbonation going up his nose. Setting the can back down, Craig looked at Token. “Still fucking hate it, though.”

“Yeah, I know, dude,” Token said, a smile forming on his face. Craig felt a smirk pulling at the edge of his mouth as well. They two remained silent for a few minutes, listening to Clyde ramble on about something being bullshit. After a little while, Token let out a breath and asked, “So where’d you run off to after class?”

“Nowhere.”

“We both know that’s a lie, Craig, or else you would have been here sooner.”

Flipping off his friend, Craig rested his forehead against the bar, the feeling of the cool marble helping to center his raging mind. He really, really hated that Token was always right.

“Went to see if he was painting.”

“Was he?”

“Uh-huh. That’s what that thing is over there,” Craig muttered, pointing over to the stairs where he had left the covered canvas that he had forgotten to give back to that spastic blonde when he’d gone running off. Craig didn’t want to just leave it at the school, in case it got damaged in some way. Tweek had seemed proud of this one, or maybe he was just happy that Craig had thought it was cool. The noirette wasn’t sure.

“What is it?”

“A painting.”

Craig could almost hear Token rolling his eyes. “No shit. I meant what’s it of.”

“Go see for yourself. Just be careful with it. Don’t let Clyde touch it.”

As if his name summoned him, which is usually did, Clyde appeared at Craig’s elbow. “Don’t let Clyde touch what?”

“Nothing,” Craig said, turning his head so that his ear was pressed against the bar and flipped Clyde off.

Ignoring the both of them, Token walked around the bar and over to where Craig had pointed, carefully picking up the covered canvas. Bringing it back over to the bar, after Clyde had pushed Craig’s stuff to the side, Token pulled the cover off and placed it gently onto the marble counter.

His friends' eyes went wide.

“That’s...amazing,” Token whispered, his mouth hanging open slightly.

Clyde went to touch it, but Craig threw another look his way and the brunet pulled his hand back. “Doesn’t that blue color look familiar?”

Craig picked his head back up. So he wasn’t the only one that thought so. But why was it so familiar? It was weird.

Token had his brows pulled together and was nodding slightly. As if realization dawned on him, the black teen picked up his phone from where it was resting on the counter. “Craig, look over here.”

“Huh? Why?”

The flash of the camera on Token’s phone blinding the noirette for a few seconds. He could see sparkles in his eyes.

“The fuck, Token?” Craig growled, rubbing at his eyes, hoping to get the sparkles to go away.

“What do you think, Clyde? Could that be it?”

“Oh, _hell_ YEAH!”

How Clyde managed to blend so many emotions into his speech patterns amazed Craig.

“Could what be it?”

Suddenly shoving the phone towards him, Craig came face to face with his own eyes. His own _ice blue_ eyes.

“That’s your color, Craig. Tweek painted the both of you.”

“He what…?”

_What the hell?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, Craig!! Maybe it isn't just you feeling that way!
> 
> Eh, whatever, I don't know. It sucked probably.
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter should have a bit more...angst, so I'm sorry. Also, it should progress the story a bit. Hopefully... If i don't scrap my ideas again that is. But I have two days off of work so maybe I can get a couple more chapters out before I go back. 
> 
> Hope you guys liked this.


	8. Conflicted and Smothered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just...I'm sorry. This chapter is probably shit because I just wanted to get this horribleness over with. And everything is poorly described and I'm sorry, please don't hate me. I had such a hard time with this chapter and I kinda hate it. I think its terrible.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!!  
> BAD STUFF AHEAD!! TURN BACK IF EASILY OFFENDED OR OF WEAK CONSTITUTION.
> 
> Also, Tweek is a lightweight...majorly.

It wasn’t until Tweek had sprinted all the way home and slammed the door behind him that he noticed he had left his painting with Craig.

_Oh,_ _J_ _esus, what if he notices that_ _it’s of him_ _? I’MSOSCREWEDJESUSSOMUCHPRESSURE!_

Feeling the urge to yank at his hair emerge, the blonde slid down the door until he was huddled in a ball of twitching and frazzled nerves.

But...thinking about it, would it really be that bad if Craig realized that it was him in the painting? Tweek had painted a lot of people before; well, without actually used identifying details, anyway. He had a couple in his room that were of his parents, and even one scary of that Senior that wouldn’t leave him alone.

Speaking of that Senior, Tweek still had a rather large lump on his head from where he’d been smashed against the locker. That had really hurt, but at least it had been the side of his head and not the back, where he’d already been hit twice. Thinking back, Tweek almost smiled at the memory of Craig’s hand around his arm. It had been warm and gentle. It was in complete contrast to how the taller teen acted normally. It was almost comical.

Resting his forehead on his knees, the blonde twitched to the right and let out a shaky breath. He was trying to do what Miss Addler had told him, to balance the hope with the fear. Is that what she had said? Tweek couldn’t remember. He remembered her saying something about them going hand in hand, so maybe that’s what she had meant.

But did balancing the two have to be just so...terrifying?

Letting out a slightly frustrated, but mostly fearful, groan, Tweek tried to shake off his terror. He had stuff to do; he couldn’t just sit, wallowing in fear, forever. The spastic blonde pulled himself shakily to his feet and kicked off his eternally untied boots. He was vaguely surprised that he didn’t trip more because of his laces.

Shoving all of those terrifying thoughts to the back of his mind, Tweek rolled up his sleeves and began his chores for the day.

 

~

 

_VPP!! VPP!!_

 

Pausing in his vigorous, twitchy scrubbing of the coffeepot, which could really use a cleaning more often, Tweek felt his pocket vibrate for the fifth time in the last two minutes. He had been trying to ignore it so far. It was most likely something inconsequential, so Tweek could probably get away with ignoring it.

But it just wouldn’t stop.

Throwing down the brillo pad he had been using, Tweek yanked the source of the offensive noise out of his pocket. He just wanted to get his cleaning done without having his phone going off every seven seconds, interrupting his music! He had just downloaded Unlike Pluto’s most recent album, and he couldn’t even finish one goddamn song!

Grumbling under his breath, Tweek swiped his pattern onto the screen. Of course, he got it wrong the first couple times because of his shaking, but once he managed to get the stupid thing unlocked, he saw that it was the new guy he had hired at the shop.

 

 _JaseMyers_ Teusday, 4:40 pm

_Hey, Tweek! I’ve got a problem! Can you beat feet to the shop?_

 

 _JaseMyers_ Tuesday 4:40 pm

_Kinda urgent. I fucked up dude leik bad, can’t fix on my own_

 

 _JaseMyers_ Tuesday 4:41 pm

_Seriously! Need ya! Here! Now! Things are broken and goin onthefritzzz!_

 

 _JaseMyers_ Tuesday 4:41 pm

_PLEEEEAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEE_

 

 _JaseMyers_ Tuesday 4:41

_I’ll make it up to ya, just get here before stuff starts to catch on fire!_

 

A strangled, gasping groan escaped Tweek’s throat as he spun around, nearly tripping over his tangled feet as his socks slid along the tiled floor. Nearly falling on his face but catching himself with the tips of his fingers, the blonde pushed himself up and sprinted to the foyer.

He didn’t even bother trying to tie his boots once he had slid them on. He just grabbed his keys and locked the door behind him, tumbling down the walkway to his house as he did so.

_Please don’t let the shop be on fire! PLEASEDON’TLETTHESHOPBEONFIREJESUS!_

 

~

 

“Sorry, Tweek...I really didn’t mean to fuck up...”

As the panting teen stood in the doorway of the shop, which the new guy had closed once things started to go haywire, he looked at the older boy standing in front of him.

He was twirling a lose bit of hair around his finger, his long, faded, dyed blue hair pulled into a really high ponytail. Tweek thought that it must hurt having his hair up so high. The color was almost grey, and it matched his equally grey, completely guilty looking eyes. He was taller than Tweek, most everyone was, but he acted too much like a little kid. He was a year older than Tweek. That’s why the blonde had hired him. He was older and seemed responsible, if a bit strange, considering what he wore on a daily basis.

“W-what happened –ngh—here?” Tweek stuttered as he looked around at the coffee machines. Some had steam rising from them; others seemed to be covered in what looked to be coffee. There was a large puddle on the floor in front of the self-serve station on the far right. The shop looked… terrible… to say the least.

“Well, that’s kinda the problem,” Jase Myers said, laughing nervously. “I’m...not sure what happened. But, uh. I think it’s bad.”

Tweek only blinked at the grey-haired boy.

_Bad is kind of an understatement…_

The blonde was a little surprised at himself. After his initial freakout as he ran there, he was actually pretty calm. There was always that terrified buzzing in the back of his head but it kind of took a backseat to the shock he felt at what Jase had managed to do.

“Can you...can you fix it?”

Looking back at his employee, Tweek let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

“O-ok, let’s get this over w-with, Jase,” Tweek said as he stepped farther into the shop. He locked the door behind him and made his way over to the self-serve area.

After a small inspection, it became apparent that Jase had put too much water in the machines, causing them to overflow with coffee. Because of that, the coffee-tainted water had soaked a little into the bottom of the machines, and that in turn almost blew them up. Fortunately, the new guy ended up unplugging them. That had probably saved that part of the shop from catching fire.

“Y-you can’t put t-that much—ngh—water in the rese—gah!--resevoir!” Tweek explained as he skillfully pulled the three machines apart. “It’ll just make the—rrr—pots! Overflow. Put about half of what you did today in next time.”

Jase followed Tweek as the blonde listed off tips to make things easier. He nodded and seemed to take to memory what Tweek was saying.

The machines behind the counter were a little less difficult to fix. It seemed like the older coffee hadn’t been dumped out when a new pot was brewed, resulting in stale coffee.

“Gotta clean these out b-better. Not that I’m telling y-you what to do, J-jase, just...be more c-careful.”

“No, I understand, dude! I’m kinda scatterbrained sometimes...and I just...well, there are no excuses really.”

Tweek nodded but didn’t look his employee in the eyes. He was afraid that if he did, Jase would see the slight terror in his eyes. He didn’t need a coward for a boss...Tweek still messed the same things up all the time. Why was he acting all authoritative in front of the guy!? He was older than him! Jase should be telling him what to do! Why did things have to end up like this? Couldn’t his parents just be normal and act like parents for once?

“Ngh...no they can’t.”

“Huh?”

Tweek looked over at Jase and shook his head. “Nothin’...just—ngh—talking to m-myself.” The blonde stepped away from the grey-haired teen and went into the back room to get mops and brooms and such to start cleaning up the shop. “You c-clean up the mess...and I’ll go order m-more stuff f-for the shop!”

“Yessir!”

As Jase began cleaning up the entire debacle, which honestly wasn’t difficult to clean since Tweek had done most of it during his inspection, Tweek sat behind the counter, ordering new coffee and new parts for the machines on the store laptop. He kept pressing the refresh button accidentally, so he had to redo the order at least four times.

“Hey, Tweek?”  
“Y-yeah?”

“I promise I’ll make this up to you. I know it was your day off, and I’m really, really sorry.”

Tweek shook his head vigorously, his hair swaying and his brain knocking against his skull, causing it to hurt a bit.

“Gah! D-don’t worry about it! S-stuff happens, you know?”

All of a sudden, the grey-haired teen was practically jumping over the counter, getting up close to Tweek. It was then that the spastic blonde realized his sleeves were still up. The bandages were still on his left wrist and his scars were in full view. Twitching nervously, not wanting Jase to notice them, Tweek shakily pulled down his sleeves.

“Tweek!!”

“W-what?” Tweek all but screeched, leaning back from the source of Tweek’s current shivering. “W-WHAT DID I DO? JESUS, DID YOU GET HURT!? ITSALLMYFAULT!!”

Instead of backing away from Tweek’s screeching like he expected, Jase laughed a little and gave him a warm, goofy smile.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Tweek! I just thought of the best way I could make this up to you!!”

Blinking and twitching hard to the right, Tweek almost fell out of the chair he was in.

“It’s not a bit deal! Don’t have to!!”

Ignoring this yell, Jase kept talking.

“There’s this party tomorrow night, and I think you should go with me! It’ll be a lot of fun! A lot of people are gonna be there and there’ll be drinks and music, and a bunch of girls, dude! You might be able to let loose and half a little fun!” Jase all but climbed over the counter to get close to Tweek’s face, eye to eye. “Please, Tweek! I promise that it’ll be fun!”

Starting out slowly, and then changing to full on panic, Tweek shook his head so hard and really did fall out of his chair. He was sitting on the cold tile floor, backing away from Jase as he dropped down in front of Tweek.

“N-no! That’s okay! I w-won’t know anyone there! What if I get kidnapped! I DON’T WANNA END UP IN SOMEONE’S VAN, DUDE, NUH UH! I CAN’T GET ABDUCTED THAT’S WAYTOOMUCHPRESSURE!”

“You won’t get kidnapped, I promise! And I’m sure you’ll know someone,” Jase explained as he stopped moving forward and sat down on the floor next to Tweek. “A bunch of people from your grade are going, and I’ll be there! If you want, you can hang out with me and my friends all night! You won’t have to worry about anything happening, I promise!”

God, was he being serious!? Tweek couldn’t stay out at a party all night! He had stuff to do! He still had to work at the shop! He couldn’t just drop everything! There was already this fiasco at the shop! What would his parents do if they found out!

“B-but I have to w-watch the shop tomorrow!!”

“No you don’t!”

“Why are you saying that, of course I do!” Tweek squeaked as he twitched hard and smacked his head on the wall behind him, where the mugs were hanging up. He hit the wall hard enough that they rattled.

Jase rolled his eyes as he struggled to get his phone out of his front pocket. He was silent for a moment, his steel colored eyes trained on the screen intently as he swiped. “There it is! Look!” The phone was shoved in Tweek’s face. Once his eyes adjusted to the screen being so close, Tweek saw that there was a text from him there.

 

 _TweekyTweakson_ Saturday, September 15 8:57 am

_Shop closed Wednesday the 20 th. Road work. Don’t have to come in._

 

“Oh yeah...” Tweek mumbled as he took his focus from the screen. He had forgotten that they wouldn’t be able to get into the shop while the road work was going on, so they both had that day off.

“See!?” Jase said, drawing out the word. “So, you’ll go with me, right? You don’t have an excuse anymore!”

“I wasn’t t-trying to c-come up w-with an—gah!--excuse!”

“Doesn’t matter! Come on, Tweekson! Let’s have fun.”

Jase wouldn’t take no for an answer…

_I don’t really have a choice do I?_

 

~

 

“Tweekson! You ready!?”

The next day, Tweek had been standing in his kitchen, pacing when Jase had knocked on the door and Tweek had told him to come in, and soon Jase was standing in the doorway to his kitchen.

Groaning, Tweek spun around in a quick circle. He really didn’t want to go! He just wanted to stay home and do nothing except paint! His brain was too hectic right then to do anything else.

“No!”

“What’s wrong?”

Tweek circled again, making himself a little dizzy. Why had he let this strange person into his house? Why had he listened to him at all? And why was he wearing makeup? Well, the last part didn’t matter honestly, but he didn’t want to go!

Instead of answering, Tweek just put his hands in his hair and mussed it as hard as he could. It wasn’t until he heard a little sigh from Jase that the blonde noticed that his sweater sleeves had slid down, revealing his arms again.

“Gah! Don’t look!” the blonde sputtered as he yanked his sleeves down and turned away from the grey-haired teen. He couldn’t believe he had let that happen? What was Jase gonna think? He would probably think he was disgusting and weird because he hurt himself so much! Why had that happened!? WHY!?

“Tweek, look.”

Tweek was afraid to, but Jase’s voice was so much softer than it normally was that he felt himself looking over at where the other male was standing. He had pulled his shirt up, revealing his abdomen. Tweek felt his face grow warm and he was about to look away when he saw what looked like x’s scarred into the skin.

“You’re not the only one, okay? You don’t have to be afraid of that around me.”

The shirt was pulled back down, and Jase was giving him an almost sad look. Despite his embarrassment and terror at someone finding out one of his secrets, Tweek felt his grip on his sleeves lessen and the panic in his stomach calmed.

“So, let’s go have fun at a party, okay?”

Again, Tweek just didn’t have a choice.

He was being pulled out of his kitchen and out of his house.

He was scared, that was true. But maybe he could actually have fun…?

Maybe?

 

~

 

The music was loud. The crowd both outside and inside the house was huge. It was so overwhelming.

“Yo! Jase! What took you so long, dude!?”

“Was just picking up a fraind!!” Jase called, adopting a weird accent as Tweek shakily followed the grey-haired male over to a group of seniors that were standing in the front yard of a house Tweek had never actually gone near before. Thankfully, it wasn’t anyone he recognized. He was really hoping that that one Senior didn’t show up… “This is Tweek, guys! He’s the one who hired me at the coffee shop!”

There were a few murmured greetings, but they all refused to look at Tweek. That was normal. They all knew about the crazy, twitchy blonde that worked at the coffee shop instead of going to school. Everyone was wary of Tweek in case he freaked out. It was always like that. Why had he come here?

“Oh, c’mon guys!” Jase cried, putting his fists on his hips. His grey hair was pulled into a braid over his shoulder, which he flicked behind him, giving his friends a disappointed look. “He’s not that bad! I promise!”

One of Jase’s friends rolled their eyes and Tweek felt like screaming. That panic in his stomach began to roll around again and he felt himself pulling at his sleeves again.

“Your promises mean absolutely jack, Jase!”

“Shut up, you weirdo!”

“You’re the weirdo!”

Jase jumped at his friend and put him in a headlock. Tweek whimpered and was about to reach for them to stop when he saw the looks on their faces. They seemed...happy? Like they were having fun doing something dangerous like that? Is that was having a friend was like…? That was weird.

After a few minutes of mock-fighting, the two separated and a red solo cup was put into Jase’s hands. Another was shoved towards Tweek by the same guy that had been messing around with Jase. Tweek backed away a little but still took the cup. He didn’t wanna be rude to someone who was offering him something.

It was sort of uneventful after that. Tweek just stood there, listening to the music that pounded through the ground. Jase was locked in what sounded like a debate with his friends, and Tweek felt like an outsider. He didn’t want to ruin anything either, so he kept quiet.

The liquid that was in the red solo cup was bitter...he didn’t like it. Sure, coffee could be bitter, but there was just something about this that made Tweek feel...weird. Even though he didn’t like the beer, he still sipped at it. He didn’t want to offend anyone’s hospitality, so the blonde just remained where he was, twitching and whimpering quietly, sipping on the beer.

People watching kind of amused Tweek sometimes. So as he waited for an opportune moment to slink away and go home, he watched the people around him.

He was surprised by the amount of people there. True, Jase had said that a lot of people were going to be there, but this was crazy. And Tweek didn’t recognize anyone, really. He saw a few people from his grade every now and then, but no one he had ever interacted with.

But that changed pretty quickly.

A flash of green caught Tweek’s attention out of the corner of his eye.

_No! Please don’t let him see me!_

Tweek almost dropped his cup as he sprinted into the house, hoping to get lost in the sea of people so that the Senior wouldn’t see him. But getting lost there just caused Tweek to panic more. Racing through the house, he looked for a place to hide. Losing his balance and stumbling, Tweek flopped down behind a trio of kegs. They were right next to a closet, so Tweek tried to hide in there. He just didn’t want to be seen…

Forgetting that the cup he was holding onto for dear life was filled with beer and not in fact coffee (which he hadn’t brought, god knows why!), Tweek downed the entire thing, little bit of foam and all. As the alcohol spread through his system, Tweek realized his mistake.

“Oh, no...” he whimpered quietly, looking down at the bottom of the cup. He couldn’t believe he had just done that...he was already regretting this. What was wrong with him!?

“Awe, Tweeky, is your cup empty? Here, take mine!”

Looking up at that all too familiar voice, indeed, there was Kenny, leaning down and offering him another red solo cup.

“No! I d-don’t need anymore!”

“You’re just saying that!” And then the cup was switched out and Kenny vanished again.

“Stop doing that!” Tweek yelled, but he knew Kenny wouldn’t hear him. But Tweek wasn’t even sure that Kenny had really been there. Had it just been his imagination? The twitching blonde shivered, looking down at hands wrapped around the cup. Maybe he should just drink it…? Would it be that bad to have another? He was supposed to be here to drink and have fun, right? That’s what Jase had said.

Blinking down at the clear liquid, Tweek whimpered again.

_F-fuck it! I don’t care anymore!_

Bringing the cup to his lips, Tweek closed his eyes and chugged the entire thing. But...there was something different. This didn’t taste like the beer he had had before. It wasn’t bitter. It kind of burned...no, it really burned as it slid down his throat. Hacking at the sensation, Tweek dropped the cup and wiped his eyes where tears had started to form.

The hell had that been…? And why...why was everything started to swim around him…? Was this the real effect of alcohol? Tweek giggled, his pitch high and nervous, but he wasn’t sure why he had giggled at all. What was happening to him? This was probably…bad.

But he didn’t care. His body felt warm, his limbs loose. He didn’t feel the tension in his shoulders that he usually did, and it seemed like his tics were fading a little. This was weird. But he kinda liked it.

Tweek sat in that little alcove for a while, letting the weird feeling extend all over his body. He felt so...light. He didn’t feel smothered even though there were so many people around. He could feel the bass through the floor, and he liked the music.

“The fuck you doing here, fag?”

Tweek groggily blinked his eyes open. When had he closed them? He wasn’t sure. But when he looked up, even though his vision was blurry, his fear returned.

“I..I’m not doin’ nothin’!” Tweek mumbled. He couldn’t get his tongue to work properly. Instead of trying to talk his way out of the situation, Tweek tried to stand up, but that didn’t work either. Panic squeezed his gut when he felt a hand in his hair. Then he was being ripped to his feet and those cruel eyes were there, waiting for him.

The Senior had an almost disgusted look on his face, as if Tweek was the grossest thing in the world, but then the expression changed. And this one scared Tweek even more. It was predatory...like the Senior was going to do something bad...really bad.

“Please...l-let m’go!” Tweek slurred as he tried to stand on his own two feet to stop the pulling on his hair. It hurt so bad, but he couldn’t get his footing, and it only caused the Senior to let out a cruel laugh.

“I don’t fucking think so. I already said I was gonna get you fuckers back for this, and since you’re here now, I might as well fuck you up while I got the chance.”

Then, the Senior yanked Tweek’s hair again and he was forced to follow him towards the stairs. Where was he taking Tweek? Why was this happening? Tweek knew he shouldn’t have come to this stupid party. Why did Kenny have to give him that alcohol...why, why, WHY? Tweek couldn’t see the stairs through his already blurring vision that was becoming even worse as tears filled his eyes. His head hurt so bad…

Tweek felt himself lose his footing again, about to fall down the few stairs he had managed to get up when the Senior all but threw him up a few and then did it again and again until they were at the top. Tweek was almost thankful for the grip on his hair or he wouldn’t have fallen backwards and tumbled down the stairs.

He couldn’t think straight. Everything was spinning and he was in so much pain...he was so scared...what was going to happen to him...why did this have to happen?

_Please...someone help me…_

But then Tweek was being dragged again. He had his hands on the Senior’s wrist, trying to get him to let go, but he was so strong and Tweek had no power because of the alcohol. If this what being drunk was, then Tweek never wanted to get drunk again. He never wanted to touch alcohol again…

The blonde heard a door slam, and then he was suddenly thrown again. He expected to land on the floor, hard, but instead, he landed on something soft. A bed? What was going on? Struggling to sit up, Tweek saw the Senior putting a chair under the doorknob. _Why would he need to do that?_

The Senior turned around, but Tweek couldn’t real see him. It was dark in the room...the only light was from a meager streetlight outside the house. But then the terrified blonde heard something...like a latch being undone…? What was that?

It wasn’t until the Senior had walked forward that Tweek saw. He had taken off his belt. But why…? That was the only thing that could coherently go through his mind.

“Ya know, I almost hate to do this because if someone finds out it could come back on me, that I’m a fag because of this. But you won’t tell anyone. Right?”

 _What?_ Tweek couldn’t even speak anymore. His voice wouldn’t work. He couldn’t even think. He didn’t have time to think because suddenly, he was being flipped over onto his stomach and the Senior was on top of him and his hands were being bound behind his back with that belt.

Was this…?

“N-no! Please...don’t t-touch me!!” Tweek finally managed to yell, but that didn’t do anything to deter the Senior. No, it just seemed to spur him on, as if Tweek’s fear was encouraging. “G-get o-off!!”

“Shut up!”

Tweek felt pain blossom on his cheek where the Senior hit him. This...this couldn’t be happening...he didn’t want this. _Please...stop…_

But then his own belt was being unhooked and tossed aside, and the button of his jeans was being undone.

“P-please!” Tweek cried, his tears spilling down his cheeks. “Why are you doing this!?” But that only earned him another punch, this time to his side and the blonde felt like he was going to puke. It hurt so bad. He was sobbing now, but he couldn’t even fight back anymore. His terror was just too much. He was starting to black out.

“This is for getting me fucking punched in the face, fag.”

If Tweek could have pulled himself from his fear, he would have heard the loud _bang_ that sounded from behind them, and then another, and then light was spilling into the room.

“What the fuck?”

“The fuck are you doing, asshole!?”

The weight on his back was suddenly gone, and Tweek heard something hit a wall, and then a groan. What was that sound…? It sounded almost the same as when Tweek had been punched in the cheek earlier. It sounded familiar. But he still couldn’t do anything, as if he was paralyzed.

“Tweek!? Tweek, answer me!”

The blonde hands were untied and he felt feeling flood back into them as he was rolled over onto his back. His eyes wouldn’t focus, his mind wouldn’t pull itself out of that hazy blankness that had enveloped him. He felt rough, but gentle, hands on his face.

“Tweek, are you alright?”

Through the blurriness and blackness of his mind, Tweek saw a very familiar color. It was blue, like ice. He knew that color. They were color of _his_ eyes.

Tweek’s focus smacked down into his mind, and Tweek finally could see. And he saw..

“C-Craig?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm...so...sorry...
> 
> *curls into little ball and cries*


	9. Fate Can Be A Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter will make you guys feel a little better. It sure as hell made me feel better.  
> Also, Craig, you're so gay.  
> And finally, I've started posting to my tumblr again. It's the same thing as my name here, and I'll be posting little updates and snippets of stuff on there, as well as pictures that kind of describe how the characters might be feeling at any given time. NONE OF THE IMAGES ARE MY OWN THOUGH!  
> If you want to send me messages, fanart, questions, or anything, look me up on there, and I'll respond as soon as I'm able to. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, because I sure as shit enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Merci

The night wasn’t supposed to end this way. It shouldn’t have been as shitty as it was. It was like fate gave Craig an instance to enjoy himself and then backhanded him across the face with annoyances and rage so fierce it was a miracle he hadn’t killed anyone.

But if the noirette was being honest with himself, he would have admitted that he was glad it had ended the way it did. At least he had done something good...sort of.

Goddamn, Clyde really owed him now.

 

~

 

They’d left for Token’s house almost immediately after school. Craig had left Tweek’s painting there, not wanting to bring it home for fear of his dad seeing it and destroying it like the ass he was. Plus, it was safer with Token than it was with anyone else. The noirette had told his parents he was just staying at Token’s place like normal. Not mentioning the party was probably for the better. God knew what they’d do if they find out.

Clyde hadn’t sat still the entire time they were hanging out before the party. He had been too full of annoying, nervous energy. He had bounced from the couch to the stairs to the bar and back again. Craig was tempted to tie him to the bannister just to get him to sit still. But then he probably would start talking...at least his pacing was keeping him quiet.

“When does the party start again?” Token wondered as he fiddled with the string of his hoodie. He wasn’t looking up at them; the black teen was too focused on his phone, reading another science article.

“Once it gets dark, I think,” Clyde answered as he sat down on the stairs and started to bounce his leg. Craig watched at the brunet put his hands behind his head and leaned back against a stair.

 _Love can sure make ya stupid,_ Craig thought as he went back to staring at his own phone. He was trying to find new music to listen to, but he just couldn’t find anything that wasn't obnoxious. _Then again, he’s always been stupid._

“Well, sunset is like...” Token paused as he brought up another tab on his phone. After typing in a few things and scrolling through another few things, he continued, “Two hours from now, so why don’t we just wander around town til it starts.”

There was silence from both of them for a few moments. Clyde only stared at the ceiling and continued to bounce his leg.

“Eh, fuck it, why not?” Craig finally stated, pulling his hood up over his dark blue beanie. He had had to leave his chullo at home that morning, since the puffball had fallen off again. Ruby had said that she would sew it back on once she got home from school. Craig had been tempted to just buy another one, but decided against it. That hat had been with him for so long, he felt like he just couldn’t let it go. “It’s better than sitting hear watching Clyde pace for hours.” The noirette turned to Clyde with his middle finger raised, who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously, dude. It’s fucking annoying.”

“Well, sorry!” Clyde grumbled, standing up and pacing back to the couch. “I’m so frickin’ nervous, dude! What am I gonna say to Bebe when I see her!?”

Craig looked back at Token, who was rolling his eyes. Yeah, Craig felt about the same at the moment.

“Just act how you normally would. If Bebe hasn’t gotten fed up with your shit by now, then I think you’re gonna be fine,” Craig told him as he gave up on the music search. He’d look later.

“Yeah, you’re probably right!” Clyde returned as he awkwardly flipped his friend off. Craig almost smirked because he knew how much the brunet hated doing it. But, he was kind of proud.

“So, we going or no?” the noirette asked as he hopped off the bar stool and stepped over to where Clyde was now, since he had paced back to the stairs and was sitting down again.  Token said nothing, but he could still be heard doing the same and walking over to where Clyde was.

“Yeah, let’s go!”

It didn’t take long for Clyde to scramble up the stairs without waiting for his friends.

“At least he’ll tire himself out before we get there, huh?” Token muttered as they followed Clyde’s hasty retreat.

“Well, I fucking hope so.”

 

~

 

After wandering around for the majority of those two hours before sundown, they suddenly heard bass loud enough to shake the ground of the entire street. In fact, it did. It felt like a giant was stepping in perfect rhythm.

Altering their path and performing a complete 180, the three made their way towards the sound of the metaphorical giant. Craig was actually looking forward to losing himself in music and alcohol. It had been a while, not since he’d made the mistake of hanging out with Cartman and his group of jackasses. And that had been almost three months ago. Craig really, really needed to get wasted.

“Okay...I can’t do this!” Clyde suddenly yelped as they drew closer to the house that was the source of the music. The party was being held by a senior, one that Craig had never heard the name of before, but that was pretty normal. He couldn’t bring himself to give a fuck about seniors. They were just annoying.

As Clyde tried to turn and run, Token grabbed the collar of his Letterman and hauled him back around.

“You dragged us here, so you can man up and go talk to your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, man!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Craig only rolled his eyes. With an almost imperceptible smirk, Craig remembered what Ruby had told him once, that if he rolled his eyes hard enough he was gonna be permanently cross eyed. It was a weird thought.

The closer they got to the house, the louder the music got, and the more people they saw milling around. This was one hell of a party from what the noirette could tell. It was like the entire junior and senior class had been invited. There was probably enough people there to cause a riot if they really wanted to. It was like an enormous sea of hormones and alcohol. If Craig wanted to, he could probably fuck around with a random girl since most of them already seemed far beyond the point of wasted, but it wasn’t worth the effort.

“Yo! Craig, man! And those guys, too!”

_Oh, Jesus fucking Christ...why does the fatass have to be here?_

Indeed, they were being approached by none other than Eric Cartman and his crew of jackasses, Stan, Kyle, and of course, Kenny fucking McCormick. That asshole still hadn’t sold him his cigarettes yet, and Craig was almost out of the ones he had bummed from a classmate. He could probably scrounge around for some at the party, but again, not worth the effort.

“What do you want, Cartman?” Craig ground out, trying to not flip the fatass off. He didn’t feel like getting into an argument with Cartman at the moment.

“Nothin’, just wanted to know why you came to this party at all?” Cartman said smugly as he gave Craig the most annoying look possible.

“None of your goddamn business.”

“C’mon, Cartman, leave him alone,” Stan said, sharing an annoyed look with Kyle. They were standing as close together as usual, even though Craig knew they had been fighting again. They were always fighting; it was a wonder they were together at all with the amount of shit they put each other through.

Craig was glad he didn’t have _feelings_ for anyone. It was too much of a hassle.

“Shut up, Stan! Go do fag stuff with Kahyle!”

_Fuck Cartman and his fucking stupid annoying accent._

“Fuck off, fatass!” Kyle yelled back, punching his “friend” in the arm. “And stop calling us fags! Its bullshit!” Kyle’s face was as red as his hair with anger, but that wasn’t hard to do. Kyle got pissed easily.

“Just drop it, man, he’s not gonna stop.” Stan grabbed Kyle’s hand and hauled him away, probably to calm him down. “Cartman, fuck off and leave Craig alone. Do you want a repeat of last time? You just got the cast off, dude.”

Craig almost barked out a laugh at that one. Stan was right, he probably would break Cartman’s arm again if he tried to fuck with him again. Craig wasn’t afraid to. The fatass was annoying.

“You guys can’t just leave without me!”

Cartman ran after them, probably to try and get them to come back to his side of the argument again. Craig didn’t understand why they hung out with him. He pissed Stan and Kyle off as much as he did to Craig.

_Whatever. Where’s the beer?_

Moving on, Craig walked past Kenny, who was still standing there with a smug expression on his face as he watched Stan and Kyle walk away as well, as if it made him happy. Craig didn’t wanna open that can of worms by trying to figure Kenny out, so he just kept walking. Token was right next to him, but it seemed like Clyde had seen someone else he knew and rushed off to god knew where. He’d be fine. Clyde was an obnoxious drunk, but at least he wasn’t a stupid drunk. As long as he didn’t get vodka, anyway.

Craig wandered around the throngs of people for a while, trying to find where the beer was. He really wanted to start getting drunk, especially with how many people were around. He was already feeling suffocated. The interaction with Cartman had put him in a slightly bad mood, and alcohol would fix that problem.

“Where the hell is it?” the noirette muttered. He didn’t have to wait long for an answer because Token tapped his shoulder and pointed towards the inside of the house, where someone was rolling a keg through the doorway. “Fucking finally.”

Following the keg, Craig increased his speed so he could reach the alcohol as fast as possible. Of course, that didn’t take long. As soon as he got inside, he was handed a red solo cup filled with pale liquid.

Token was given one, too, but Craig knew he wouldn’t drink it. He’d probably just give it to Craig in the end. Token never drank with him and Clyde. The black teen just sat back and made sure they didn’t do anything stupid, like throw themselves down a flight of stairs. Actually, Craig and Clyde had done that last year. They’d drank too much at Token’s and started fighting at the doorway to the basement. It had ended with the both of them tumbling down the stairs and landing in a heap of bruised, amused, completely wasted idiots. Craig had laughed a lot that night. He had had a good time, but it hadn’t lasted, of course.

“Don’t let Clyde go down the stairs again, Token.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. That’s a very steep staircase.”

Craig raised his eyes to where Token was pointing and indeed, there was a set of stairs perfect for pitching yourself down if you were drunk enough to survive.

“Where did Clyde go anyway?” Craig wondered, but not really caring. He had found a couch near the kegs and was already getting comfortable and sucking down his beer. As soon as it hit his gut, he felt a little better. Less smothered.

“Probably to find Bebe,” Token stated, sitting down next to the noirette and pulling out his phone. Token was lucky he had one of those super battery pack cases on his phone, or he’d be screwed with how much he used his phone.

“Probably.”

And that was it. They didn’t say much to each other for a while. They just sat and enjoyed the music, and Craig slowly got drunk. Beer didn’t do much for him anymore, considering how much he’d drank in the past, but it was a nice sensation to feel the buzz spread through his body. It took some of the tension out of his limbs and calmed the churning in his gut a little.

Sitting next to the kegs had been a good idea. All he had to do with grab the nozzle and pour himself another one whenever his cup was empty. There seemed to be two other groups of kegs spread out around the room they were in. There was the one they were sitting next to, one next to the kitchen in front of them, and one off to their right next to a closet. There were new ones brought in every half hour as well.

Craig and Token must have sat there for at least two hours in silence when it had happened.

“Well, looks like he’s found another victim.”

“Yeah. I feel kinda bad for the guy, though. He’s not gonna go easy on him is he?”

“It’s him, so probably not. What, you wanna go try and save him?”

“And get targeted next!? Fuck no!”

“Yeah, didn’t think so.”

The guys talking had drawn Craig out of his stupor slightly. He was becoming bored, so listening to people’s conversations would have to do for entertainment. The noirette still had his hood up and it was partially covering his face, so he was able to watch the two talking without them noticing.

They weren’t people he recognized. Well, he sort of did. Seemed like they were part of the dickhead’s group, the ones who had been laughing about Tweek getting fucked up. They were harmless, though, so Craig didn’t really pay them any mind.

“Looked like the kid was crying, though. And he seemed very, very drunk. I wonder if he’ll even remember what happened afterwards.”

“For his sake, let’s hope not.”

Craig wondered who they were talking about. Not that it would mean much to him either way. He filled up his cup again and gulped down the entire thing. Laying his head on the back of the couch, Craig spread his arms across the back, keeping the cup in a tight enough grip that it wouldn’t fall. He was surprised that the buzz hadn’t turned into full on drunk yet. He really wished he wasn’t such a heavyweight when it came to beer.

The two Craig had been listening to seemed to go silent for a little while, so Craig stopped paying attention to them. But he wasn’t given much time to zone out because he heard a familiar name being called.

“Tweek!? Tweek, where’d you go!? C’mon, dude! Where are you!?”

Lifting his head in confusion, Craig looked around. _Why would Tweek be here? He hates being in big groups of people._ When he didn’t see that familiar halo of lemon yellow, Craig raised an eyebrow. _Didn’t think so._ But then there was someone yelling again.

“Hey, has anyone seen a small blonde kid with green eyes? He was wearing a white t-shirt and a green plaid flannel! Please, someone help! I can’t find him!”

Springing to his feet before he could even think about it, Craig looked around for the source of the yelling. He couldn’t see anyone familiar, but Token stood up too and looked around.

“Tweek’s here?” the black teen asked, giving Craig a wary look.

“I don’t know.”

Suddenly, Craig saw a flash of grey and turned to see the guy that worked with Tweek shaking someone’s arm, asking if they had seen the blonde.

“You don’t think...”

“I hope not...”

Craig turned to the two who had been talking before and saw they were giving each other worried looks. The grey-haired guy must have heard them, too, because he was jumping over the back of the couch they were sitting on faster than Craig thought a human could move.

“What do you two know!?” the grey-haired teen asked, and Craig could hear the malice in his voice.

“Uh...our friend...might have taken the guy you’re looking for upstairs,” one of them said as he tried to sink farther into the couch.

“Your friend?” Craig found himself saying, stepping over to the three of them. He felt Token’s presence at his back. The grey-haired guy glanced up and seemed to recognize Craig but he didn’t say anything.

“Uh...yeah...He’s got green hair and stuff...he likes to...target people and try to...jesus, do I have to say it?” the other one muttered, his face scrunching up into one of disgust and fear.

Craig drew himself up to his full height. He felt the anger building in his stomach again. If something had really happened to Tweek…He pushed the thought aside and leveled the two with a look that could only be described as murderous. “Where does he usually take the people he targets?”

“I told you, upstairs!” the first one to speak yelped as he held up his hands. “Please, we didn’t do anything, don’t take it out on us!”

Craig didn’t pay them any mind. Instead, he looked down at the grey-haired guy and said, “You work with Tweek.”

Nodding, the guy said, “Yeah. I do. You’re Craig, I’m guessing?” Craig said nothing, letting his silence speak for him. “That’s what I thought. C’mon, we need to go find him.”

“We?”

“Yeah, _we_.” The grey-haired guy turned and made his way towards the stairs. Craig followed, obviously. He wasn’t gonna let anything happen to Tweek. He didn’t care if Token was giving him a warning look, which he knew he was.

As soon as they reaching the foot of the stairs, Craig heard it, even above the deafening music.  He would know that voice anywhere.

“P-please!! Why are you doing this!?”

Without hesitation, Craig pushed the grey-haired guy aside, knocking him into the wall, and flying up the stairs. He could feel the rage building. He couldn’t hold it back like he normally did. He couldn’t hold anything back when it came to Tweek. But Craig didn’t care.

Tearing through the hall until he heard Tweek’s whimpers, Craig reared back and kicked at the door with all his strength. At the moment, it wasn’t much because of the alcohol in his system. But Craig heard the sound of a belt being tossed to the floor, and it caused that flame of rage to boil from his stomach into his chest, burning through him. Letting out a roar that rivaled that of his father, Craig slammed his booted foot into the door again sending the chair that must have been holding the door shut flying and almost breaking the door off it’s hinges. Craig heard someone else’s voice in the room.

“What the fuck!?”

From behind Craig, the grey-haired teen yelled, “The fuck are you doing, asshole!?”

When he saw Tweek face down on the bed, his hands bound behind him with a belt and that fucking Dickhead Senior on top of the blonde, undoing his jeans, Craig lost it.

He rushed forward, grabbed onto the back of the green-haired douchbag’s shirt and threw him aside with all his strength, bashing him into the wall. The Senior fell to the floor with a _thump_ and Craig heard him groan. Following, Craig pulled the green-haired asshole up by the front of his shirt and bashed his fist into his face. He felt bones crunch under his knuckles. He must’ve broken the asshole’s nose. Craig knew his punch had knocked the guy out, but he hit him again for good measure. It took all his willpower to not kill the guy. But he had other matter’s to attend to.

“Tweek!? Tweek, answer me!” Craig yelled as moved to the side of the bed and looked down at the blonde. He had a new bruise blossoming on his face and he was curled up, protecting his stomach. Craig struggled to get the belt undone from around Tweek’s wrists. Craig’s head felt too hot. He needed to cool down a little. His hood had flown off when he’d gone up the stairs, but he yanked off his beanie and threw it behind him. He didn’t care if he didn’t get it back. He hated that thing. Carefully, the noirette turned Tweek onto his back. The poor kid had tears streaking down his face and his eyes were open, but they were dull, as if he couldn’t see what was going on around him. It was as if he wasn’t there at all.

Hating the sight of those gorgeous eyes dull and without the normal vivid intensity they held, Craig rested a handle gently on the cheek that wasn’t bruised as he whispered, “Tweek, are you alright?”

Slowly, as if surfacing from a deep ocean, Tweek’s eyes slowly gained their brightness back. They focused on Craig’s eyes so intently, that Craig let out a sigh of relief.

“C-Craig?”

Tweek’s voice was strangled, like he’d been screaming for hours.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s me,” Craig whispered, leaning down and putting his forehead against Tweek’s. “I’m so sorry...that I didn’t come earlier...”

Pulling back slightly when he heard a sniffle, Craig saw that Tweek’s face had screwed up into an immensely painful expression. The blonde sobbed and suddenly grabbed onto Craig’s shirt, hauling himself up and into Craig’s arms.

The noirette was a little shocked. But...he wrapped his arms around Tweek’s convulsing shoulders and held him tightly. “It’s alright...You’re gonna be okay...”

With the rage subsiding and the relief flooding his body, Craig realized that it just felt so...right...to have Tweek in his arms like this. It sounded weird in his head, but he didn’t care.

All that mattered was that Craig was there, and he was never, ever, ever going to let this happen to Tweek again.

_Never fucking again. I’m never leaving him alone again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gawd I love my boys! I'm so glad this chapter was better...it healed my heart a bit. Loved writing it.
> 
> Question: Do you guys think that Kenny should have more chapters, or one every five chapters, or every ten? I'm not sure. He's a major plot mover, so I feel liek I should have more about him. Maybe.


	10. I'll Be With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this one took a while. I was working on a piece for this fic (drawing wise) and that took forever and then I'm suddenly working nonstop! So this chapter took a while to finish. I'm still not even sure if this is good at all, but I'm glad I finished this chapter. So more plotty stuff is kinda happening, so let's move on from the angst...hah jsut kidding.
> 
> My tumblr is still up and running, oddly, so if you have anything you want to ask me about this fic, that would be where to go xD I'm most active on there.
> 
> Merci
> 
> P.S. This chapter and the next chapter kind of have a song that go with them. It's this----> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adfcVmu1bmM  
> It's amazing, so go listen to it!
> 
> P.P.S If there are any grammatical errors, please feel free to let me know!

_Where am I? What’s this...weightlessness...what happened to the party?_

Tweek felt himself swaying, as if he was floating in open water. But he couldn’t have been in the water. How would he have gotten there? He felt safe, as if the monsters that usually plagued him wherever he went were being held back. It was a strange feeling. He couldn’t remember ever feeling safe before. He’d felt numb, and he’d felt calm, but never safe. He also felt very...warm. Another thing in defense of Tweek not being in the water.

As well as all those other things, the blonde couldn’t seem to remember what had happened after he had drank the alcohol that Kenny had shoved into his hands. He remembered feeling scared, but then again, he was always scared, so the memory of it wasn’t all that helpful.

The blonde absently wondered why he couldn’t seem to fully wake himself up. It was like a fog was covering his mind. If he would have thought about it, he was have realized that it felt nice to have that fog there. He didn’t have any fears or paranoia at the moment. It was all quite strange.

“Is he gonna be okay?”

Tweek’s mind focused a little at the voice. It was familiar but the blonde couldn’t place it.

“Dunno. I’m gonna take him home and stay there to make sure.”

That voice was comforting, if a little flat. It was like there was no emotion in that voice, but it made Tweek feel at ease.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Huh, another voice Tweek couldn’t place. What was going on?

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving him.”

Again, that comforting voice. It rumbled through Tweek’s body, as if source of the voice was very close to him. Who did that voice belong to?

“Alright, Craig. But if you need us, just text me.”

“Yeah.”

The voices were silent after that, and the swaying returned, lulling Tweek’s mind back into that almost slumber that he had been in. He faintly heard crickets, so he assumed he was outside, but the loud bass of the music had faded to just a faint _bump_ in the back of his mind. The blonde wished he could open his eyes, just to see if he could catch a glimpse of the owner of that voice. It seemed so familiar.

“Tweek?”

His name caught the blonde off guard enough that the fog lifted just a bit, giving him the ability to slightly open his eyes. When he did, he saw inky, wispy blackness, like hair and the sky behind that. The stars were flickering, and Tweek almost felt panic settle in his chest when the sight of those stars brought images of aliens sparking into his mind. Then, suddenly, he felt pressure around him. Not like the normal pressure that he constantly felt in his mind, but a kind of comforting pressure, like he was being held.

And that’s when it hit him.

_Someone is holding me...WHATTHEHELL!?_

Tweek felt a strong shiver rake through his body.

“You okay?”

The voice was there, and this time, Tweek could see the owner of the voice, of that deep rumble that brought the strangest calm over him. He should have known this voice.

The shivering blonde looked up and saw deep, ice blue eyes looking down at him.

Craig’s face was as flat as ever, but his eyes held a barely restrained fury as well as palpable concern that sent a completely different kind of shiver down Tweek’s spine.

“W-what’s—ngh!--going on!?” Tweek yelped as he squirmed in Craig’s grip, but that only seemed to make the noirette hold him tighter.

Craig hummed quietly and again Tweek felt the vibration spread through him. He was being held against the noirette’s chest, one arm under his knees and the other around his back. Tweek knew he must be heavy, so why did it seem like Craig wasn’t struggling to carry him at all?

“I’m taking you home.”

“W-what happened to..to the, the party!?” Tweek stammered as he squirmed again, trying to get Craig to put him down, but it seemed like the noirette was going to do no such thing. The blonde let out a frustrated groan and looked back up at Craig again. He wasn’t looking at Tweek anymore. Instead, he was looking at the sky. That was one thing that was good about South Park. It was practically in a bowl, so there was little to no light pollution.

But Tweek didn’t want to look at the stars. He wanted to look at Craig’s eyes, because it seemed like that fury that was barely hidden had flared and darkened them. Why was he so angry? What had happened that Tweek couldn’t remember? And why had the noirette been at the party anyway? Didn’t he usually avoid big parties like that?

“Shit happened and had to get you out of there. You don’t need to remember what happened.”

Craig went silent after that, and Tweek let the conversation stay where it was. There was no need to bring it up again...especially when Tweek didn’t want that fury to be turned on him. He didn’t know how he would handle Craig being angry with him.

_Maybe he_ is _angry with me? W-what could I have done t-to make him mad!?_

_“_ If there’s something rattling around in your mind, instead of letting it drive you crazy, just tell me.”

Tweek blinked and felt himself twitch against Craig’s chest. It was a rather strong twitch, but it didn’t seem to affect the taller teen at all. How had he known that Tweek’s thoughts were overpowering him?

“I-I-IT’S NOTHING!” Tweek forced out, gritting his teeth and lowering his head until his chin touched his chest. He really wished that he was on the ground just so that he could pace in circles, just to get some of the nervous energy out of his limbs. It was driving him crazy.

“I know that it’s not.”

_How though!? How do you know!?_

Tweek shook his head, trying to get those thoughts to stop. It was becoming too much. He felt like he needed to escape from this confusion. He groaned loudly and gripped onto his sleeves, his knuckles turning white. He could feel his fingernails against his palms even through the sleeves of his flannel.

“Tweek.”

The tone of Craig’s voice, accompanied by the sudden stop of the noirette’s steps caused Tweek to force his head up so he could look at Craig’s face. His expression was blank, but again, Tweek saw the real feelings the teen was harboring in his eyes. Was he really that worried about the blonde?

A moan escaped Tweek’s throat and he struggled to put words to his frantic thoughts, just so that Craig would stop looking at him like that. It made Tweek feel like his heart was doing jumping jacks in his chest.

“You...you look upset...mad...a-a-and I don’t...I don’t….JESUS CHRIST DON’T BE MAD AT ME!!”

Finally ending his struggle, Tweek yelled loud enough to make his own ears ring. He felt bad for yelling right in Craig’s ear, but it didn’t faze the noirette at all. Was Craig even human!? What if the aliens had replaced his brain and it made it easier for Craig to ignore things!?

“GAH!! P-PLEASE DON’T LET THE A-A-ALIENS TAKE YOUR BRAIN!!”

Although Craig’s expression didn’t change at Tweek’s second outburst, his eyes did soften slightly, as if some of the ice in them melted.

“Why would I be mad at you? And the aliens won’t take my brain.”

“You...you just look s-so a-angry, and I don’t want you to be mad a-at me!”

Craig looked away from Tweek for a moment and continued his steps. He didn’t say anything, and it seemed like the noirette was trying to collect his thoughts. It was then that Tweek noticed that they were in front of his house...well, he did remember from when his mind was fogged with weightlessness that Craig had said something about taking him home. But why had they left the party in the first place? Yeah, Tweek had drank something that he probably shouldn’t have, but that Senior hadn’t found him, so it must have been fine. What had happened to Jase?

None of these questions were answered at the moment, though. Instead, Craig was walking up his front steps and putting Tweek down on his feet. The sudden feeling of gravity on his limbs again caused Tweek to stumble a bit, but Craig was right there next to him and grabbed onto his elbow to keep the blonde from falling.

“Is the door locked?” Craig asked once the spastic blonde had regained his balance. Tweek only gave a twitchy nod as he forced his hand into his front jeans pocket and dug around for his keys. He always had trouble finding them. It was as if his pockets were black holes.

Tweek tried his other pocket. Where were they? What was going on?

“OHJESUSCHRISTCOMEON!!” Tweek screeched, letting out a loud, frustrated groan. He couldn’t find them. His keys _were not_ in his pocket. Or his other pocket! Or the pocket on his shirt!! The blonde whipped his head up to look at Craig, who was watching him calmly. “I C-C-CAN’T FIND THEM!!”

The panicking blonde watched as Craig nodded slowly, and it was then that Tweek realized that Craig wasn’t wearing his chullo. Strange...that hat had never left the noirette’s head for more than a few moments the entirety of their childhood. But Tweek couldn’t dwell on the hat for too long because Craig suddenly turned his back and walked back down the steps and around the house.

“W-where are y-you going?”

“Getting us inside.”

Blinking with a twitch, Tweek grabbed his sleeves again, yanking on them hard enough to almost snap the button off. “U-us...what—rrr—do you mean us?”

There was no answer as Craig disappeared into the darkness at the edge of Tweek’s yard. Where was he going? Tweek was too scared to try and follow to the noirette. Who knew what was lurking at the edge of his vision. No way he was stepping off that porch.

_I guess I just...I have to wait...til he gets back…?_

But that was just as terrifying!

The blonde was totally exposed! There was bound to be something there, just waiting to snatch him! What if it was the aliens…OR THOSE STUPID MONSTERS THAT KEPT HIM AWAKE AT NIGHT!? They were even scarier than the aliens because he couldn’t see them! At least he had seen the aliens once or twice. This was South Park after all...god knew what kind of scary nonsense was hiding in the shadows.

Suddenly hearing a click and a squeak from behind him, Tweek let out a high-pitched yelp that almost threw him off balance to the point that he almost went tumbling down the steps. At the last second however, a strong hand grasped his wrist and pulled him upright again. Tweek landed against something solid but warm with a _whump!_

“OH JESUS!” the spastic teen squawked as he latched onto the fabric that was on top of that solid, yet oddly warm, wall. Wait. This wasn’t a wall. Tweek looked up and again let out a squawk. Craig was looking down at him with an eyebrow raised, it disappearing underneath the fringe of the noirette’s bangs. It looked like Craig hadn’t had a haircut in a while. Then again, he always had that hat on, so maybe it had always been that long.

“You alright?”

“H-h-how did you…! W-w-where did you…! JESUSWHAT’SGOINGON!”

Tweek knew he was freaking out needlessly. But there was just something about Craig that did it to him. When around Craig, Tweek only had two settings, eternal panic and eery calm.

“I found an unlocked window and hopped through. You should really lock your windows. But I guess it was fortunate for us this time.”

The spastic blonde twitched again, his lemony hair falling into his eyes. Craig’s oceanic eyes focused on that hair and he was reaching towards Tweek. Suddenly, an image surfaced in his mind’s eye.

A hand reaching forward to grab onto a handful of his hair, yanking him to his feet. Panic settled in Tweek’s gut, although he wasn’t sure why, and he quickly covered his head with his shaking arms. He flinched away from Craig’s impending touch and yelped, “N-N-NO! DON’TTOUCHME! I DON’T WANT TO GO WITH YOU!”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Tweek realized his mistake. That hand he had seen wasn’t Craig’s. Craig was larger...more scarred...but not scary. That other hand had been scary; terrifying. He heard the pained sound that Craig made and knew he had hurt the noirette. The blonde lowered his arms and saw the equivalent of that sound written on Craig’s face.

“Sorry. I won’t do it again...” the taller teen whispered, looking at Tweek with a sad, dark look. It was strange to see the normally deadpan expression morph into solid emotions.

“No...t-that’s not...” Tweek started, but was interrupted when Craig looked away from him.

“You should get inside.”

Tweek didn’t know what to say anymore. First Craig was mad at something (he still harbored the fear that Craig was angry with _him_ ), and now he’d hurt the noirette. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just be normal? Why did he have to ruin everything for everyone around him? Why was he so pathetic.

The blonde felt that panic and fear squeeze his gut and it traveled up into his throat. He could feel the tears before they fell. He felt the burning in his eyes. He felt that itch in his fingers to grasp at his hair. His head began to throb and he could feel the blood pumping through him.

“No...please...n-not again...”

Tweek wasn’t sure if that had been his voice. It sounded like him, but he didn’t remember saying anything. His legs began to shake. His breath began to come in short gasps.

“Tweek?”

His head whipped up again, seeing those eyes, those orbs of ice that had seemed to melt earlier but were now just orbs of solid stone. He’d done that. He’d taken away the warmth of those eyes. How could he be so stupid.

“Tweek, answer me!”

Why was Craig still here? Hadn’t Tweek hurt him enough? Hadn’t he done enough to Craig to make him forget the blonde forever, again? Maybe it was his own fault that Craig had forgotten about when they were kids. Maybe he was the cause of everything bad that was happening to Craig. It would certainly make sense.

Tweek put his hands in his hair, unable to stop and yanked as hard as he could. He felt strands rip from his scalp. He held on so hard he felt his nails cut into his palms. He couldn’t stand this pressure in his brain!

_And it’s all my fault…_

But then Tweek felt warmth against his hands. He felt fingers pulling at his fists, gently releasing his grip on his blonde tresses. His hands were pulled down in front of him, where Tweek saw that Craig was holding them, tightly but gently. Tweek’s impending panic attack seemed to just...stutter...and it felt like it was frozen in place. It was still there, but it didn’t change. It didn’t lessen but it didn’t get worse either. Why...had that happened?

Craig didn’t say anything. His expression didn’t change. But he gently tugged Tweek’s hands, pulling them both into Tweek’s house. The blonde stumbled a little but Craig’s hands around his own somehow kept him upright.

Tweek heard the door close behind him and the subtle light from the streetlights outside was almost cut off, throwing them into near darkness. He let out an involuntary whimper as he threw his head around trying to find any source of light that was brighter than the light that was filtering through the window of the door.

That’s when he saw it. It was...glowing...and it look eerily familiar from underneath Craig’s unzipped hoodie. But, looking at it closer, Tweek saw that it wasn’t glowing. It was just because of the color.

Tweek remembered.

It was a present from Craig to him when they were kids. It was the t-shirt with an alien on the front, the one that Craig said was a shield. Tweek had always wondered where that shirt had gone, since it was one of the first things Craig ever gave him. But he’d lost it a long time ago.

How had Craig gotten it?

“Are you okay?”

That soft baritone drew Tweek’s eyes from the shirt up to Craig’s oh-so-blue eyes.

“Y-yeah...w-where did you—ngh—get that shirt?”

Craig looked down at his shirt as if he didn’t remember what shirt he was wearing. He let go of one of Tweek’s hands and plucked at the material.

“This old thing? I’ve had it since I was a kid.” Craig paused and weird expression crossed over his face. “I don’t remember where I got it, though. I...I can’t. That’s weird. Now that I think about it...I don’t even think its mine.”

Tweek blinked and his normal shivers lessened to a slight vibration. That light in Craig’s eyes. It was a light of remembrance. Tweek knew that light. It was the same light that his parents sometimes got when they were actually home. Sometimes they’d see Tweek and that light would shine in their eyes. They would remember him for only a few moments. But then it was gone and they went back to forgetting that they even had a son.

Tweek mentally shook himself. Forget his parents for a moment. He was watching that light in Craig’s eyes.

_Maybe he’ll remember us. Please...remember._

But then it was gone. That light faded and Craig looked back up at Tweek. His oceanic eyes focused on Tweek and he cocked his head to the side.

“Did you say something?”

Tweek sighed and lowered his gaze. He felt the hope fade from his heart, leaving only an empty shell in its wake. “N-no, I didn’t.”

Craig followed where Tweek’s gaze had gone and looked down at their hands, still clasped together. The noirette let go suddenly and looked away. He combed a hand through his hair, the same hand that had just been holding Tweek’s. “Sorry,” the taller teen mumbled, and Tweek thought he saw Craig’s cheeks redden a bit. “I said I wouldn’t touch you anymore.”

Without thinking about it, Tweek reached forward and grabbed onto the hems of Craig’s hoodie and tugged. The blonde felt a frustrated groan leave his throat. Shaking his head vigorously once Craig looked at him again, Tweek yelped, “N-no! Gah!! That’s n-n-not it at all!”

A dark eyebrow disappeared underneath those bangs again as Craig looked down at Tweek’s hands on his hoodie.

“What do you mean?” the noirette questioned as he took a step closer, forcing Tweek to raise his hands. The blonde still held onto the sweater and with his hands up like that, they were almost pressed against Craig’s chest.

Tweek was starting to panic again, but in a way, he also felt unnervingly calm. That didn’t make sense. His mind was flailing but the rest of him felt steady and calm. But that just made him confused, and he almost forgot that Craig had asked him a question.

The blonde cast his eyes in all different directions trying to figure out how to put this...feeling...into coherent sentences. Because it was going to take more than one, honestly.

“I...I g-got scared and—ngh!!--remembered...s-something? Maybe...it was...someone...reaching for me and I…I remember being grabbed and dragged and hurt and…I-I’m sorry!”

Once Tweek finally managed to get the entire thing out, although in his head it still didn’t make sense, he looked back up at Craig. That fury was back in his eyes.

“I-I-I’M SORRYIDIDN’TMEANTOMAKEYOUMAD!”

Tweek tried to let go of Craig’s sweater and back away, not wanting to be the object of the noirette’s wrath, but he wasn’t given the chance. Instead, Craig was suddenly closer, and Tweek was pulled against Craig’s chest, strong arms wrapping around his shoulders.

The blonde let out an involuntary yelp as he felt Craig’s warmth seep into him. What was happening?

“I’m not mad at you.” Craig’s baritone drew Tweek’s attention from his confusion as he felt it rumble through Craig’s chest. “I’m mad that...that I wasn’t there when you needed someone. When you were getting dragged up those stairs, I was right there next to them and I didn’t even notice you. I was getting drunk instead.”

“That’s not--”

“No. Let me finish. I know you don’t remember everything that happened. And I don’t want you to remember. But when I saw you on that bed with your hands bound and that fucker about to...” The noirette paused and sucked in a breath, as if talking had become difficult. Tweek felt a shiver go through Craig that seemed to match his own. Craig buried his face in the crook between Tweek’s neck and shoulder, causing the blonde to twitch and yelp as a shiver went down his spine again. “I don’t want something like that to happen ever again. I’m never going to let you get hurt like that again. I can’t. I don’t know why you affect me so much but I can’t stand it...seeing someone else touch you. I can’t do it, Tweek. I just...can’t.”

Tweek blinked as the emotion in Craig’s voice seemed to grow with each word he spoke. He’d never, ever heard this much emotion coming from Craig. And that just seemed to accentuate what the noirette was saying. Tweek wanted so badly to say something in response, but he felt that Craig wasn’t done talking.

After a few moments pause, Craig drew back a little and the blonde saw that the fury that was in Craig’s eyes had changed to determination. The intensity of it made Tweek’s face grow hot. He’d never been looked at like that before, and it made him feel...weird.

“I am never. EVER. Leaving you alone again. I can’t, Tweek.”

Tweek wasn’t sure how to respond, but he felt like he _needed_ to say something. Anything, but his mind was blank. For the first time in his life, Tweek’s mind was a void. There was nothing there. He stood stood there, staring into those twin pools of oceanic waves.

“Is that alright?” Craig asked, his expression flattening out again, as if he was ready for rejection. But Tweek couldn’t do that...reject the only person he’d ever truly cared for? No. That wasn’t going to happen.

When Tweek nodded slightly, Craig let out a breath and rested his forehead against Tweek’s. His soft, inky hair tickled Tweek’s nose as their breaths seemed to mingle. Tweek closed his eyes.

Maybe he could hope after all; maybe Craig would remember...if he felt this way now.

“Okay,” he heard Craig whisper. There was so much emotion in that one word.

“O-okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two are going to destroy me, I'm telling you. Next chapter will probably be jsut as fluffy as this one, so uh...yeah. Don't expect that to last. It'll change.


	11. Wherever I Go, Trouble Follows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is total filler. It's been a while since I posted a chapter, because writer's block sucks man. So bad. So here is some Kenny ness. It sucks I'm sorry. Its also super short. Oops
> 
> Merci

Okay, maybe that had been a bad decision. Maybe Kenny shouldn’t have given Tweek vodka. _Maybe_ he shouldn’t have just left the poor kid sitting there, drunk off his ass. But.

BUT

At least it seemed to bring Craig and Tweek together.

Well, it kinda _forced_ them together, but honestly, at least it worked, right?

Kenny turned away from Tweek’s house, where he had followed Craig and Tweek to after the whole event. He’d managed to peek into the window and saw the entire exchange. It didn’t take long for the blonde to see what he came for. Of course, they still had a long ways to go, but at least Kenny could relax for a little while and worry about his own predicament.

This one involving a certain blonde that was waiting for him where they had agreed upon.

A pang of guilt speared through Kenny’s chest. He didn’t want things to end up the way he had seen, but he also couldn’t seem to leave Leo alone. In his heart, Kenny knew that he wouldn’t want to ever be with anyone other than that lovable dork, but he also knew that the longer he stayed, the more it would hurt Leo in the end.

“Love sucks...”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

If he had been anyone other than who he was, Kenny would have jumped at the sudden voice next to him. But he was a McCormick, and nothing surprised him anymore.

“I’m surprised you made it through college, Carissa. You have terrible grammar,” Kenny mumbled as he put a hand on his cousin’s shoulder and shoved. “What are you doing out here, anyway?”

Carissa Addler shrugged. “Same old, same old. Somehow managed to trip and shattered my skull again.”

Kenny almost snorted. Of course. The McCormick curse. No matter what happened, even if you were being the most careful person on the planet, dying just came with the namesake. Sure, it sucked. And sure, it had it’s uses. But the blonde was sick of it. He just wanted a normal life that he could spend by Leo’s side. But that obviously would never happen. Not with _him_ shadowing his every move. The one with the scars. The one that looked just like him.

Shoving the thought away, Kenny tried to focus on what Carissa had been saying. When he realized that she was just babbling about her hair being messed up after the came back, he’d tuned her out again. There was just something about girls talking about their hair the gave Kenny a bad vibe. His sister was like that, too.

“Carissa, as much as I just _love_ talking about your hair,” Kenny said, giving his cousin a smile that accompanied the pure sarcasm bleeding from his words. “But I’ve got places to be.”

“Whatever, McCormick. Have fun fucking up the timeline some more!”

He’d taken a few steps, but at that, Kenny whirled on his relation.

“Shut the fuck up, Carissa! You know I’m doing everything I can do fix this! You fucking know how hard I’m working on getting everything back to how it was.”

Carissa tossed her hair over her shoulder and leveled the blonde with a look full of malice. “If you are really doing everything you can, then why did you let Tweek get hurt like that?” she asked, crossing her arms. Kenny flinched. He knew he fucked up with that one. “If you are trying to fix things, then why are you sticking to that kid even though you _know_ how things will end up? That thing you’ve created with your mistakes is only getting stronger.”

Kenny’s face screwed up into a scowl of disgust.

“He has nothing to do with this. Don’t you dare bring Leo into this.”

“Leo? Oh, he has a pet name now? The fuck is wrong with you McCormick! If you keep letting this go, things are going to explode and you aren’t going to be able to fix them! Leave the kid out of this! Fucking go back and erase his memories of you! That’s only way to fix that fuck up!”

_Erase Leo’s memory…_

Kenny stumbled suddenly, as if the thought took all the strength from his muscles.

No...he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t let Leo forget him.

Falling to the sidewalk, the thought numbing everything inside of him, Kenny’s eyes became unfocused.

He couldn’t live without Leo in his life...how could he hurt Leo like that…?

“You’ve got to stop acting like a child. You have to live up to your mistakes, Kenny. Don’t drag anyone else into this any further unless you want to hurt them. It’s not fair to them.”

The numb blonde didn’t react to what Carissa was saying. She didn’t expect him to, either. Instead she just turned on her heel and walked away, her hair swaying behind her.

_She’s right you know~_

Starting, Kenny looked around. That voice. It was...his.

“What do you want. And how are you here. There is no reflection.”

_Look down, you fuckwit._

Kenny did so, and indeed, there was a puddle there that held his reflection. But it wasn’t him. It was the other one. The scarred one. The teen in the reflection was an identical match to Kenny other than the numerous scars that crisscrossed his face. All the scars from every time Kenny had died and come back. Because instead of the blonde having those scars, this anti version of him had them all.

_And as for what I want~_ the anti-Kenny said in the same singsong voice that Kenny had used all those years ago. _I want to exist. So keep fucking things up, and we’ll see how soon I can take your place._ The reflection chuckled maliciously. _And maybe I can have some fun with that adorable little Butterscotch of yours. How do you think he’d like to have some_ fun _with me?_

Kenny snarled and stood up, dragging his foot through the puddle to get rid of that stupid reflection. “You will not touch him. You will not exist. Not today, not ever. Fuck off.”

The blonde shoved his hands into his pockets and stalked away from the offensive puddle. He could still hear that fucking cackle invading his thoughts. He hated it.

Yes, he’d fucked up the timeline, yes it had created another him. Yes, it was all Kenny’s fault. But he was trying to fix it, goddamit! Why did loving someone have to fuck him up so bad!?

Knowing it was a mistake; knowing that he should just take Carissa’s voice and leave Leo alone, Kenny still felt his body be drawn towards the shorter blonde’s house. He needed his Butterscotch right then. He needed to feel the warmth of that kid against him. He couldn’t not need it. He was addicted.

And this was one addiction he never wanted to recover from.

Fuck Carissa and her annoying rightness. Fuck the McCormick Curse. Fuck Anti.

_Fuck everyone that wants to get in my way._

Leopold “Butters” Stotch was his. And nothing...fucking _nothing_...was going to stop him from protecting what was his. Fuck fate.

He’d make his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just got back from a weekend long trip, so I'm exhausted and writing is not working for me at th emoment. Also, I'm super focused on an Audio book i'm tking part it for another fic called Semantically Challenged, so. Im probably more likely to be working with that than writing...I'm sorry. I'm terrible


	12. Broken Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter just took me way too long. I have a lot going on for me right now, and someone very dear to me is going through an even tougher time, so I've been trying to be there for her. Updates as always will be sporadic, and I apologize. This chapter, especially the ending, was to pay homage to TeamAlphaQ's own Clockwork Angel. So I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> Merci

How the hell had he gotten himself into this position…?

Craig tried to look down out of his peripherals, but all he could see was fluffy, lemony hair that was sort of going up his nose at the moment. Afraid to move, the noirette kept his breaths as even and steady as possible. Honestly, though...his heart was pounding and he couldn’t seem to calm down.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. He was supposed to be up watching Tweek to make sure he was okay...but the scent of whatever shampoo the kid used had taken up all his senses and before he knew it, Craig was jolting awake and then trying to stay perfectly still. He didn’t want to wake Tweek up...he wasn’t sure the kid even slept. At all.

Said blonde made a soft, sleepy noise that kind of sounded like a laugh, but Craig wasn’t sure. And he damn well wasn’t going to move to try and figure it out.

After Tweek had said his stuttered, “O-okay,” Craig had felt a smile pull at the corner’s of his mouth. It hadn’t been there for long because almost as quickly as Tweek had stopped panicking, it had started again. This time it had been about getting home so late or some other crazy thing like that. Craig wasn’t even sure it mattered what time the blonde got home. His parents were never there, so it wasn’t like he had a curfew.

Craig knew that Tweek’s parents were MIA most of the time these days. When they were kids, he remembered them being there, at the coffee shop mostly, but it seemed like once they got out of Elementary, Tweek’s parents had all but vanished. It seemed a little fucked up to the noirette, but then again, he would give anything to be rid of his parents, just for one day.

The noirette supposed he shouldn’t say something like that about his parents, but he honestly couldn’t give less of a shit what happened to them with the way they treated the both of them, Ruby especially.

Once Tweek had stumbled around after looking for the light switch, it was like a tornado came through. The blonde was a whirlwind of activity. He was putting things away, cleaning, making coffee (of course), getting cups for the both of them. When Craig had asked if the blonde had any tea, it was like he had offended Tweek’s ancestors or something. But then it was like a light flicked on in his brain and he withdrew a very small package from underneath packages and packages of coffee filters. Thankfully, it was just a regular thing of black tea, and that was fine with Craig.

They had sat down awkwardly at Tweek’s kitchen table, and the twitchy blonde had stared at his coffee most of the time while trying to covertly look Craig’s way. But of course the noirette would notice, what with how he couldn’t keep his eyes off Tweek.

“W-why are you staring at me!?” Tweek whimpered, dipping his head so low that his hair almost went into his coffee.

“Felt like it,” Craig answered in his usual deadpan, but he lowered his gaze nonetheless. He was always making the blonde nervous. It wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose. His gaze naturally gravitated towards the twitchy blonde. His attention was always fully centered on Tweek whenever he was around.

“S-so...w-why are you—ngh—still here?”

At the sudden question, Craig looked up to see that the blonde had drawn his knees up to his chest and was swirling his finger around in his coffee. The movement made a weird lump rise in Craig’s throat. _What in the hell? Why is_ _ **that**_ _making me get all…_

Shaking his head, Craig rested his chin on his hand and tried to speak around the lump in his throat. “Making sure you’re gonna be okay.”

The spastic teen blinked in that out of sync way he did when he was surprised. He pulled his gaze back up to Craig’s and twitched, almost sending the mug toppling over. Craig managed to reach a hand out and settle it before it did, however.

“I-I-I’M FINE!” Tweek squawked as he twitched again, causing his chair to scrape against the floor. “Gah! You d-don’t need to stay here!”

A small smile crept onto Craig’s face despite his best efforts to keep his expression even. “I know I don’t need to,” the noirette admitted as he slid the mug towards the twitching blonde again, who snatched it and took a big gulp. As soon as he did, Tweek’s spasms receded a bit. Continuing, Craig leaned back in his chair and scraped his fingers across his scalp lightly, “But I want to. I don’t wanna leave you here alone right now.”

Tweek didn’t refuse right away, so Craig supposed that Tweek didn’t _not_ want him there. The blonde was probably just reacting to his overactive mind telling him all sorts of crazy things. The two lapsed back into silence, and Craig went back to watching the blonde’s movements.

He’d always been twitchy. He’d always made those noises of frustration or just general spastic tics. He had _always_ been like that. But Craig had never found it as fascinating to watch as he did these past two years. Something had just...happened. The blonde had become more interesting, and Craig wasn’t sure why.

They had sat at the table in silence for a while until Craig had realized that Tweek’s head was starting to bob, and his eyes seemed like they were struggling to stay open. _Jesus, the stress of not remembering must be making him tired. He’s probably thinking too much about it again._

After a little while of watching that, Craig couldn’t take it anymore. Tweek looked so uncomfortable sitting there at the table.

“Hey, Tweek?”

The blonde had snapped awake for a few seconds with a strangled, “Ngh!!” and then went right back to almost being asleep.

 _Well, guess he’s not moving on his own._ Craig sighed. He would have to carry him. Not that he minded. Tweek wasn’t all that heavy. Pushing himself to his feet, the noirette shuffled around the table to where the blonde was sitting. The smaller teen seemed to be almost completely passed out at this point, so it didn’t take much for Craig to scoop him up into his arms. Almost immediately, the blonde had rested his head on Craig’s shoulder and took a deep breath. The exhale tickled the taller teen’s neck. It gave him a weird feeling.

Mentally shrugging it off, Craig quietly padded out of the kitchen and made his way towards the stairs. He wasn’t sure exactly where Tweek’s room was, but he would probably be able to figure it out. The stairs were a bit tricky to get up because Craig had to lean both his and Tweek’s weight backwards or they would have fallen face first into the stairs. Although, as before, Craig was able to manage pretty well.

Once the stairs were conquered and Craig had found his way in the dark to Tweek’s room, he noticed that the door was already slightly ajar. It was very befitting of the blonde, but Craig wasn’t exactly prepared for what lay _inside_ of the room.

Using his knee to bump the door open farther, Craig was immediately overwhelmed with the amount of paintings that littered the room. The noirette knew Tweek liked to paint. He’d seen it first hand. But this...this was...crazy.

There were canvases _everywhere._ On the bed, on the floor, on the windowsill. You name it, there was a canvas on it. Craig hadn’t realized just how much Tweek painted. While gawking at all the paintings, although kind of hard to see just by the dim light of the streetlight outside, Craig ventured further into the room. He tried to keep his eyes on where he was going, in case there was a canvas in his path, but he just couldn’t help but _stare_. There were just so goddamn many that he couldn’t take them all in a once.

Once he’d finally reached the bed, the noirette gently set Tweek’s still shivering body on top of the comforter. The kid never seemed to stop moving, even in his sleep.

Feeling like he had to do _something_ else for the blonde, Craig attempted to wiggle Tweek’s flannel off. It was honestly more of an attempt than anything because Tweek had an iron grip on his sleeves. That was something else Craig had noticed recently as well. The blonde tended to yank at his sleeves when he got nervous. It was very...different...from how the smaller teen normally coped with his emotions, so it intrigued Craig quite a bit. He really, _really_ wanted to find out.

But maybe another time.

Tweek had gone through enough that night, and whatever he didn’t want others to see underneath those sleeves, it was not Craig’s place to force his way. He would ask Tweek about it some other time.

Normally, the noirette wouldn’t give a damn what others were hiding. But Tweek was different. Tweek was... _Tweek_.

Speaking of, the blonde made a small groan once Craig had let go of his sleeves. Craig watched as Tweek’s face screwed up into a weird, childlike expression, like the blonde was pouting. It made the noirette smile, and it caused him to feel strangely at ease. He could feel that fury and regret that normally battled for control in his gut lessen to just a dull ache.

Craig sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Tweek sleep for a while. He hadn’t felt this calm in a very long time. In reality, he couldn’t even remember when he had started to feel like his stomach was being burned apart from the inside. It had just come upon him one day. Like a swarm of locusts, the fury and regret latched onto him and wouldn’t let go. The noirette didn’t even know why. He felt like he had done something so very wrong, but he couldn’t figure out what.

If he let them, those thoughts could circle around Craig’s mind for hours. He’d spent many sleepless nights petting Stripe, just trying to make sense of the emotions that he didn’t have a name for. He’d never been able to identify his emotions, and maybe that was the reason for that feelings in his gut. He could never tell.

The bed shifted, and Craig felt something latch onto his shirt. He focused his icy eyes on the sleeping teen next to him and found that Tweek’s small hand had found its way to the hem of his shirt when the blonde had rolled onto his side.

_Well, looks like I’m stuck now._

Not that he particularly cared. At least Tweek wasn’t shying away from him like he did when he was conscious. That had always bothered him. Craig always felt like he had done something wrong whenever they passed in the hallway and accidentally touched. It fit Tweek’s spastic nature, though.

“Ngh...C-Craig...”

Focusing once again on that face, the noirette hummed an answer. It didn’t seem like the blonde was awake, though. His eyes were shut tight and his face has smoothed over, a look of calm tranquility rested there.

“D-Dont...hate...m-me.”

Craig knew the smaller teen was dreaming. But he felt a sudden urge that he just couldn’t ignore. Turning at the waist slightly, Craig leaned forward and put a hand to Tweek’s cheeck. “I could never hate you, Tweek,” he whispered, resting his forehead against the blonde’s temple. Closing his eyes, Craig again whispered, “You’re the only one I’ve ever cared about this much...nothing could make me hate you.”

At his words, the rest of Tweek’s body seemed to relax and most of his shivering receded.

Suddenly seeming very tired, Craig brought his legs up onto the bed and curled around Tweek’s smaller body as he lay down. Pulling the blonde close, Craig whispered a promise. Maybe it was the sudden exhaustion that brought out the words, or maybe it was the memory of something long past.

“I will never, ever let anything like that happen to you again...because you are mine. Always.”

 

And that was where Craig now found himself, lemony hair tickling his nostrils as he lay there, curled around Tweek. The blonde was still asleep. Craig was almost grateful. He knew as soon as Tweek woke up, he would freak out again, especially given their position.

The noirette should have moved, so that when Tweek woke up, he wouldn’t have that shock. But as his eyes focused in the dim morning light, Craig saw that same blue that Token had said was “his color”. Why was he seeing it now, though?

Craig blinked, trying to force the sleep from his eyes. He saw it then, a lone canvas on an easel, a painting half finished. It looked like...someone’s bare back, long jagged scars covering most of their shoulder blades. It almost seemed as if there were once wings there. This was accompanied by the fact that their were feathers strewn about...but not normal feathers...these were colored copper, like metal. Metal feathers? How would that work? Focusing more, Craig saw that the blue he had seen were eyes...like his own, but the pupils looked like...cogs?

It felt like he had seen this type of panting before...a long time ago...when he was a kid…

But then it was gone, and that fog that had wiped away everything before returned, and Craig was forced back into sleep, his thoughts and memories jumbling up until they were nothing but a black pit, where there was no escaping from.

That same pit that everyone who had forgotten saw in their dreams. The pit of loss that no one could seem to escape from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, I am rather close with Q, and she has told me numerous times that i am allowed to use things from her fic in my own. That is why i thought it best to write the chapter in this way.
> 
> Next chapter will be from Tweek's perspective, like normal, but it's not going to be a normal kind of chapter. It may have some dark themes. Be prepared. Thank you for understanding.


End file.
